tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47132208661141168902024-02-18T18:17:29.363-08:00Living and LearningThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.comBlogger86125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-17984325521773113232016-06-19T12:18:00.002-07:002016-06-19T12:24:38.733-07:00Happy Father's DayI can't just put into a short post on facebook about how I feel about my father or as Tim as a father. So, as you know I am like to do, I will tell you a story about my daddy.<br />
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It was the summer of '12 and our first trip to the beach as a family. There had just been a hurricane or tropical storm, something big to make the waters fun/ dangerous all week. Being a new mother, I had avoided going out to the ocean all week long, I was a new MOTHER, I needed to be responsible FOR MY BABY!! Also, it was a great excuse to chicken out on the huge waves. But one day, while K was napping, the urge to ride one of those big ones got to the best of me, and so I went out in those crazy waters with my brothers, sister, and cousins. Let me tell you some things first: 1. I do not surf. Ever. I like to body-board or boogie-board (yes, like a child, but it's super fun, so don't judge me) 2. I specifically remember being out in the ocean boogie/body boarding since before I could touch the bottom of the ocean (don't judge) so, I feel comfortable in the ocean, even when the waves are larger than normal, and 3. My family is highly competitive, like beyond, maybe borderline we need therapy cause we compete against each other so much, but whatevs.<br />
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So, I'm watching Matthew, Jennifer, Mark, all my cousins and brothers in laws, and cousin (in laws?) (is that a term? Cousin-in-law? idk) catch these massive waves, riding them all in, and the competitive voice speaks: "you going to just let them catch all the good ones, have all the experience?" And I answered with a resounding NO, plus, I also felt the need to prove myself, that I could CATCH A WAVE TOO. (Side note: that is not a thing, needing to prove I can catch a wave, I've gotten lots of help since then, lol) So, I grab a boogie board, and head out. The first warning for me, should have been that even AFTER the waves had crashed the water was still over my head. No biggie for me, I'm a strong swimmer, I can do this. So I finally make it out to the sand bar, and the perfect wave comes. And about five or so of us take it, but I'm a little bit farther down the beach because the current drew me a little bit a ways from the others. However, I catch the wave too soon, and when it drops, the tip of my boogie board went straight down and so do I, right into the wave, hitting the bottom of the ocean (not fun) and then tumble ashore (scary, and not fun). I come up in time to see the rest of my family had hit their waves perfectly all making it to shore safe and sound with resounding screeches. And as I am badly shaken up, it hits me:<br />
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NO ONE saw what happened to me. </div>
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They are so wrapped up in their happiness and their experience, no one saw me get tossed like a rag doll by the wave. No one asked if I was OK, no one ran to see if I was bleeding. Yes, I saved myself some embarrassment, but it would've been nice if someone would've checked in on me. Who am I kidding, I would've loved to have been coddled just for a bit and told me what a big girl I was! Still 11 on the inside I guess, sometimes! But anyway, I just quietly got up, grabbed my board and headed out again with some other ones going out. But, right before I went out my daddy called out to me, "He babe, you ok?"<br />
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My daddy saw me</div>
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<b><i>His eyes still count the children in the ocean</i>. </b>We are all grown, and have children of our own, but my daddy still counts me in the ocean. He saw the whole thing, and I can guarantee you, he was counting the seconds it was taking me to get above water, and He would've been there the second I didn't come up in a timely manner. He never made a big deal about it. He never got out of his chair. But my daddy watched the whole thing happen. He SAW me. I was accounted for. I AM loved. </div>
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(Just fyi, I went back out the ocean, caught the next wave and road it in all the way, everyone cheered for me, it felt great)</div>
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My friends, my father is a flawed human being, there are some ways he is far from perfect, and there are ways I've had to really work out my faith trying to figure out who GOD is as a father, because He is not like my daddy in ways. <i>However, </i>BECAUSE OF MY FATHER, <u>I know that I am SEEN, ACCOUNTED for, and LOVED.</u> Always, without question, and unconditionally. To my men friends, please know that as a father, you're job is HUGE, you can never be replaced, and you are important. I mean, look at me, this super small event happened four years ago almost to the day, and it will be burned in my memory forever. </div>
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I love you daddy.</div>
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Your Princess</div>
The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-10228954184172332022016-05-10T18:36:00.000-07:002016-05-10T18:36:29.109-07:00Dear Daughters: A ForwardDear Daughters,<br />
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Oh my dear girls, what a strange and weird world you will grow up in. Some things have changed for the better, some things, in my opinion have made life a little more murky. You will have to hold very close to your Faith and Trust in the Lord, (and hopefully close to your momma and daddy as well!) to get you through, to guide you. Your life growing up will be different. But it will also be fun. I want to post somethings that I think about a lot as I go throughout your life and mine. Things that I want to tell you, but you are too young to understand or care about right now, so I put them away in my mind. But I think a lot about these things. So I write them down here, and I'll print them out and put in your baby book. So hopefully, when the time come for you to understand them, I will have a reminder (possibly a script!) of things I want you to know.<br />
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But first, before we get to those things, let me tell you about me and you. I want you to know that you two, and any of the children that come after you, are the greatest things that have ever happened to me. You are my best motivators. It's because of you I finally understand what MY mother has been telling me my whole life: you are the jewel in my crown. Let me preface it with this. There are things I wanted to do with my life, big things I always thought I would want to get around doing one day but was never really that motivated to do, UNTIL I had you. I want to be a woman that makes you proud, a role model that you need. Because when you see me, I don't want you to see a woman who had dreams and aspirations and let them wilt with time and children, but instead, with time and children my dreams flourished and blossomed. And just let me tell you something you two (and the others, whoever they are!) ARE one of my dreams come true!! A great BIG dream!! And I have so many more! Not that you are not enough, it's just that God didn't create us to just have one goal in life. He made us these crazy ambitious human beings with amazing gifts that He wants to use and flourish in His time. You two just happened to be my first dreams realized. I pray that as you grow older you will appreciate that in me. That I will never be a fully realized human being. That I will always be changing, and my dreams and goals will change as well. I hope you find strength in that. I hope you find me a person who is not afraid as you grow older. That is there is something that is off the beaten path that is weird and unusual, you will find me a person you can trust to talk to about this. I hope you find me trustworthy with your dreams.<br />
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<i>Most importantly, really, for me, I hope you find me</i> <b>Brave </b><i>because I want </i><b>YOU </b><i>to be brave in all aspects of your life. </i></div>
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That when the off the beaten path "thing" (whatever it may be!) calls to you, because you have seen me go out of my comfort zone, that you will hold your head of high as you walk in uncharted waters. I hope you will know that I will be in your cheering section. Shouting as LOUD as I can: You CAN DO THIS!! YOU CAN BE BRAVE!</div>
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Also know, brave looks different all the time. There are times when we try new foods that we are brave. There are times when we are brave in loving others, when we are not certain they will love us back. There are times when we are brave in helping others. There are times that we try a new sport. Or, there are times when we go to another country. Or times when our Faith is challenged. Bravery looks different all the time, but the heart is still the same. It's roots are always in Trust. And my greatest desire is not only that you trust me, but that you Trust in the One Who Made You. He never fails us, and loves us dearly.</div>
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I love you my girls,<br />Mom</div>
The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-66476095366688372982015-09-23T13:13:00.001-07:002015-09-23T13:13:17.526-07:00My Early AutumnI promised you a blog because I had so many words about Autumn. I have so many words, and not enough umph to get in front of the computer to write them down. But I think she deserves this, I want her to be able to look back one day and see how she changed my life for all the good ways. I am eternally indebted to this child for how much more of a person and a parent she has made me.<br />
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Many of you do know, many don't, Autumn was not a necessarily "planned" pregnancy. We knew we wanted a second child, it's just that every time the conversation came up, we kept pushing the date further and further back. I'll give you some insight as to why: Karis. I won't talk much about her, because this is A's post, but she was not an "easy" child. I know most children aren't saints, but even as a very young toddler many people who came in contact with her would put her smack dab in the middle of the "strong-willed child" category. Sweet? Sugary. Tender-hearted? absolutely. Go-with-the-flow? Never. I couldn't imagine trying to raise another human while dealing with the tantrums, the transitions, the not-sleeping-through-the-night (I'm talking about K there, not baby Autumn). Pregnancy was just not going to happen until K was potty-trained and could tie her shoes. Right. Needless to say, without going into further detail, whether or not Tim and I did or did not take preventative measures to have a baby, we got pregnant!<br />
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And I cried, a lot more than I probably should have!<br />
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Overwhelmed? Yes. Scared? You betcha! We needed a bigger house, with not a bigger budget. We were still adjusting to moving to Peachtree City. Tim had just moved to a new facility, and moved to another one while I was pregnant. To say life was calm would be a lie. I was having to think about all the parenting that would need to happen while pregnant, while with an infant. We were entering into terrible two's way before K turned two. But even as I was pregnant, A was having me dig in my heals in my life and in my faith. Trusting God to find a new house for us, putting faith in the Lord when Tim moved to a facility in Atlanta, asking for daily Grace when all I wanted to do was lay on the couch because I felt half a second from puking, and so I did, lay on the couch all day, it felt like.<br />
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God used Autumn to help me find the Grace to fully accept all of those circumstances and many more. Some people judged me, and I won't go into that, but I've felt the very cold eyes of judgement, but it helped me to feel the very warm embrace of God's love in Grace. So it all worked out. But all of that was from Autumn.<br />
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Somehow when Autumn was born, I grew up. Somehow her birth feels like a turning point in my life. I stopped caring what other people thought about my parenting. I stopped trying to explain my whole life away about why I make the choices I do. I stopped letting people run over me. Doing things the way they would because they didn't like the way I did things. I put my child on the schedule I wanted her to have, and I never looked back. I breast-fed my child until I couldn't, and I never looked back. I told the doctor he needed to recheck her ears for an earache, he did, she had one, and I never looked back. All of these are tiny examples of me, standing up for me. And while I know that Karis was a learning experience, it was Autumn who catapulted me into a different realm of "I'm the parent, I do it this way, you don't like it, go away." I guess what I'm saying is that Autumn helped me draw boundaries around our family like never before. And the feeling is a feeling of indebtedness like I stated before. I'm so grateful that she was the person to bring out a new kind of confidence.<br />
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I could go on about Autumn, about how smart she is. About how BIG she is. About how she's two years behind her sister, but it only feel like one because of all the ways she tries to keep up with her. I could go on about her temper, and how she chucks things when she's mad. How she picks out books and sits in my lap and asks me to read her. When she puckers her lips to kiss she sticks her tongue out too. How she constantly asks for her daddy, and I LOVE it. How she loves animals (maybe even more than her sister!). How she insists on going bare-foot all the time. But I'm crying just writing those sentences. I can't believe I've gotten to have her for two years already!!<br />
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So grateful to God for knowing we needed Autumn and giving her to us much sooner than we planned! His ways are always higher...<br />
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LA<br />
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<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-1622363629849019252015-07-26T11:20:00.000-07:002015-07-26T11:23:44.502-07:00On Moving, and Moving OnThe house is all packed (ish), calls have been made for cancellation of accounts others switched to the new address, detailed planning and arranging has been made in regards to the children, we are moving on WEDNESDAY! Praise the Lord, no seriously, Hallelujah!<br />
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We are moving to THE house, the one with the exact amount of rooms that we needed, the exact type of land and acreage we could only dream about, the exact zoning we needed in order to have goats (those who know me, know how important this is!), the exact amount of money we needed for an amazing renovation that I got to personally redo my new house, the perfect contractor God sent our way, everything is perfect!<br />
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And yet, here I sit, anxious, experiencing small panic attacks every once in awhile, nervously pacing throughout the house trying to find things to pack. Just. Nervous....<br />
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BUT WHY LaurieAnn? Why are you nervous!? Isn't this the house God promised you? Isn't this the dream you and Tim have been talking, planning, dreaming about for so long? Isn't this the house that some (not all) people said you were crazy to want and possibly not afford to have? Isn't this your PROMISE LAND? What is wrong with you????<br />
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And the answer to the last question is: LOTS.<br />
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Oh, how the Israelite in me wants to turn around and just stay here (I am not Jewish, Its a metaphor). We have a nice home, with lots of room. Yes, it has more leaks than a sinking boat, I would never pick out probably any of the paint colors, and there is shoddy craftsmanship everywhere we turn, but it suits us just fine, and we can live comfortably here. Why risk it? Why move on? Could it really possibly be better than here? Here is just so, fine, ok, doable. Why move?<br />
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What if the cost outweighs the risk? What if things don't work out as smoothly in the new place? And while we certainly don't have physical giants to slay at the new house, certainly lots of spiritual, emotional, metaphysical ones, right? I can't see them, but I know they are there, and my nervous heart beats fast just trying to imagine how in the world we will slay them.<br />
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Oh, and here's the last, but maybe most important point: we bought this house. This is a house of the permanent type. There was no signing of the lease, no wondering what we were going to do in two years when our time is up. Nope. Good, bad, or ugly, we stay. That seems so final. It seems so... is it getting hot in here to you? Is it getting harder to breathe?<br />
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To say I'm scared, it just one adjective on the wheel of emotions I am feeling.<br />
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The big F word is looming around every bend of the venture. What if we fail? What if it is all too much for us? The land too big, the up keep too expensive, the plans to improve and increase fall through. What if the "naysayers" were right?<br />
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What happens then?<br />
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The plans in our head, in the tiniest recesses of our minds, the most flimsy and weak things in the world, but the things we hold on to so tightly are threatened by every tiny bump in the process of the house buying and renovation.<br />
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I do not know the answer to all of the questions. I hold on to the things that God has shown me, in visions, in scripture, in prophecies (yes, there have been those) from trusted friends. But more than those things, because I don't know the timing and am not in charge of the way those things work out, I hold on to Jesus. I hold on to His right hand. I hold on to His Peace that passes all understanding. His Grace that saved me from a life of following my own plans. His Mercies, that truly are new every morning. I hold on to Him. I put my Hope and Trust in Him.<br />
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My heart still beats fast, but it will not faint, because I know who holds it.<br />
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Make sure you come down to visit the craziness and see what happens! I'm sure excited to find out!<br />
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Love y'all,<br />
LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-20555239361601302372015-05-04T11:54:00.000-07:002015-05-04T11:54:13.392-07:00For the love of MothersWell, it turns out that as much as I love blogging, I love doing nothing more during naptime. However, this week is so important, in fact, I just realized I love the coming up holiday more than my birthday. It's mother's day! Mother's Day, y'all! The day where our husband, and one day (one day...) children, and all those around us, stop ignoring that fact that the house does IN FACT not clean itself, there is no laundry fairy, food does not purchase itself and find a comfortable organized place on a shelf, freezer or refrigerator, or my personal favorite (I mean, there are SO MANY fun chores to choose from!!!) The bathrooms DO NOT GET SPARKLY WHITE ALL BY THEMSELVES. No, moms do that. And on top of that, they kiss boo boo's, like all the time, at least in the Harper house they do, they discipline, we sing songs, and learn our ABC's, and 123's, I have some amazing friends that teach their kids the real names of dinosaurs, and all the continents. I don't do that, but certainly we can identify almost all of the animals at the zoo... so... I'm going off on a tangent. What I mean to write about is Mother's day is so important to me, and celebrating you as the awesome, loving, amazing mother's you are and ALL YOU DO is important, because at one point in my life, this whole thing was never in the picture.<br />
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At about the ages between 18-20, I was a young lady, transitioning into the world of adulthood, and while I knew I did not know everything, I was certain of a few things. I wanted my life to count for something, something BIG, and I never wanted to have kids. EVER. And this is going to be very gritty and honest, I knew I wasn't fit to be a parent. I was the most insecure, selfish,and unorganized person that I knew. But I had lots of ambitions. I wanted to be somebody and completely self sufficient. At first, that looked like me starting my own business and being my own boss, but then I realized I wasn't good with numbers (or anything that had to do with running a business) so I went in other directions, still holding on to the fact that I shouldn't be a mother. Why? I made too many mistakes to have to fess up to a kid, I didn't want to be responsible for raising someone to be responsible,<br />
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I felt I wasn't a good enough human to raise another human.<br />
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And, I think I would say that, that's pretty self- aware for an 18 year old.<br />
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Thank the Lord we grow, and we change, and we grow and we change. Constantly, all the time! We learn to ask for forgiveness, to forgive ourselves, we learn that just knowing that we are selfish doesn't make us a better person, we must actively ask the our Father (who is the giver of all good things) to give us more Grace to make this life about Him. We give up false dreams, that are attached to lies, so we can start planting seeds of real dreams, that are attached to the Giver of Life.<br />
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And that is what HE did. He saved me, He raised me, and then He gave me the dream of Motherhood. Oh, the beautiful promised blessing of motherhood.<br />
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And of course, like a human, I decided to barter with God.... "Oh God, give me a thousand children, and make them ALL BOYS!! I can wrestle, play spies, and watch sports with the best of them. But girls, oh Lord, please, no girls. You know what is best, You know that my plan is still best. Amen."<br />
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I don't know if that is the exact prayer, but it felt like that.<br />
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On September 29th, 2011, God had a different plan, and it changed my world. Again, on September 17th, 2013, He changed my plans again. For the better. Forever.<br />
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Having children, especially girls, has never messed or hindered my dreams that lie outside of having a family with Tim. They have only enhanced them. Having my girls has challenged me more than ever to be a woman that they can look up to. That they can know growing up that being a mother is amazing, and all things wonderful, and that they can CO-EXIST with other dreams as well. Being a mother is beautiful and wonderful. One of my friends calls it her vocation, I LOVE that! It is a vocation, but I have other callings too, and they are planted in the river of life. I trust the Lord with my beautiful dreams, I trust Him that He will guide me in the path that best leads to me fulfilling these dreams, and raising strong, God- loving, Kingdom builders.<br />
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That is my heart on mother's day. To be a mother who <i>loves</i> being a mother, that I was given a direct calling from the Lord to be a mother. To be a mother who inspires and challenges her children to love and follow the Lord, through my life.<br />
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Just finding the nugget of Truth that motherhood was not the end of all dreams, but just the beginning makes me excited for what God has for me, Tim, and the girls for the future.<br />
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Happy Mother's Day, y'all. God bless you in your motherhood journey!<br />
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LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-61404852845789267412015-01-16T19:09:00.001-08:002015-01-16T19:09:16.562-08:00Chariots of FireWhen Tim and I attended First Baptist Church of Orlando, under the encouragement of our pastor, we were encouraged to seek the Lord every year to see what our "word of the year" would be. And even after leaving Orlando, I have continued having words of the year. Last year my word was Joy. And while I learned a lot of lessons of what Joy truly is, and what it is not, mostly of what it is not, I honestly didn't put too much time or effort into the pursuit of mastering Joy. I feel like I mostly hemmed and hawed through the year, going through highs and lows that were ruled by emotions. So, as I had a good year last year, it was not one of spiritual journeying that I would have really liked to have experienced. This year, my word is, well, weird, but I can explain it.<br />
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My word of the year is PLEASURE. I know, a lot of times we don't really think of pleasure as something godly, or that pleasure comes from selfish places. But let me turn this word on it's head for you, the quote popped in to my head as I was going to pick up Karis from school.<br />
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<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0153182/?ref_=tt_trv_qu" style="background-color: #fcfae7; color: #70579d; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.2000007629395px; text-decoration: none;"><span class="character" style="font-weight: bold;">Eric Liddell</span></a><span style="background-color: #fcfae7; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">: I believe God made me for a </span><nobr style="background-color: #fcfae7; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">purpose</nobr><span style="background-color: #fcfae7; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.2000007629395px;">, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.</span><br />
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Most of you may recognize this quote from chariots of fire. Eric Liddell was a devout Christian and told everybody he came across about Jesus. And I think one of those reasons he did was because he was doing what gave him pleasure, and that pleasure was God's pleasure. He didn't overthink it, he didn't reason that running was not preaching to thousands, so it must not be from God. Nope. He knew with most certainty, that he felt God's pleasure running (SO SIMPLE! right?) And so he did that. And doing that opened up SO many opportunities to tell others about Jesus.<br />
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I want to do that. I need to do that. I need to feel that sweet spot in life, that when I hit my stride in whatever thing it is, that I feel that pleasure. Almost like a runner can feel the wind against their face. I just want to experience that full pleasure. And that requires me to be a little more active in my life, than just passively looking for that word of the year.<br />
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It requires me blogging and telling whatever it is that God wants me to type. Even if I know that only 10 people read what I put out there, I put it down anyway. It means if all I do one day is sit on the floor and play with my children and completely shirk off all other responsibilities. It means if I do straighten up my whole house and keep it in order, because that ministers to my husband. It means helping people when they are in need. It means encouraging others with kind words, even when I think I'm being stupid for saying those things.<br />
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It means telling that small nagging voice in the back of my head that is always talking me down off of doing things, to SHOVE IT.<br />
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It means I'll stop being afraid of people's judgement of me, good or bad.<br />
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It means I may look like a fool and possibly feel like a fool sometimes.<br />
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But, if all of that is the small price of feeling God's pleasure.<br />
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I'll do it.<br />
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I know this is late to the game, but happy New Year y'all!<br />
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LA<br />
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<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-4086857333548239322014-12-16T18:06:00.000-08:002014-12-16T18:06:51.575-08:00This SeasonMerry Christmas Y'all! I love this time of year, kind of. I really do, I love seeing how you have dressed your children in the cutest Christmas outfits, that match. I love seeing the cookies you are making with your children and your mantles that you have decorated with Christmas words, like JOY and PEACE, my mantle says NOEL, partly because it is such a pretty word to me, and partly because it reminds me of a wonderful friend:)<br />
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But the Christmas season is not what I wanted to talk to you about.<br />
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And I want to be very careful in not making this about me being whiny, I mean, it is my blog, so it will be about me, but hopefully the tone will not be whiny. I was tempted to whine, but then I thought, we dont need a whine post (a wine post, maybe?) We need an encouragement post. So, here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to tell you about my Season I'm in, and then I will encourage you, I promise!<br />
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I just realized I'm in a TIRED season tonight. Physically, yes, kinda, but it's mostly one of those mental, spiritual, emotional tired seasons. Like when your in the middle of a (ok, lets be honest, I've only ever run a 5K, but you put your race here___) and I realized I've given a lot and I've only reached the 1/4 of the race mark... That kind of tired. Like, 'THEY ARE ONLY CHILDREN AND I HAVE SO MANY MORE YEARS AHEAD OF ME" tired, and "I CANT BELIEVE WE WANT TO HAVE A THIRD CHILD AND I WILL BE HERE ALL OVER AGAIN ONE DAY" tired. Like when Karis has a complete meltdown in the middle of my grandfather's singing performance, and I have to get up and leave an everyone is staring, and her angel of a cousin ( who is ONLY 4 mos older) is sitting next to her, perfectly content) This is after I feel so proud about how well she has been doing and how far we've come with her, obviously NOT FAR ENOUGH? Like when K's automatic answer is "NO" to everything. Like when she looks at me and says she wants to sleep in my bed, let me be clear, that's not sweet, that is her little mind working in ways to get out of going to bed. Like Autumn is crying all the time, she has FOUR upper teeth coming in and she is crying all the time, and wants to be held, all the time. Like my house is not as clean as I would like it, Ever. Like I fall behind on planning meals for our family and feel like I'm scrambling, all the time.<br />
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I mean, this list could go on people.<br />
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I honestly write this, because I have gotten compliments from people (lets be honest two people) on various aspects of my life, and while anyone always appreciates a kind word, I don't want to put on airs, I am not doing too well, friends! Or at least, it doesn't <i>feel </i>like I'm doing too well. It <i>feels</i> like, if this were a baseball game, they would need to call in the relief pitcher. However, there is no relief pitcher in life. Its just me and you, being moms all the time.<br />
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And here's where I'm gonna encourage you;<br />
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Thank God it's Christmas time! Jesus has come. He does come to give us clarity, not just moments, but pure unadulterated clarity when we are focused on Him! Jesus does give me peace in the midst of the crazy, when I chose to look to Him. And when I've failed (all the time) and I want to just throw up my hands and give up, I feel His Grace. And if I can't feel it, I specifically named my oldest as an Ebeneezer that I will always remember it. His Grace doesn't give a second chance, His Grace keeps you going. God doesn't give second chances, I believe He gives rebirth. A complete new start, new life. And it all started with a baby.<br />
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So maybe you are feeling encouraged cause you're like, well things may be bad, but at least I am not as messed up as LA! Wonderful. And maybe you are encouraged because Jesus didn't come to just be a beautiful baby boy resting in a trough. He came to become our Peace in troubled time, our Hope when there is no relief in sight. And our Grace, when we feel like we've messed up too many times. That is where I hope you find the real encouragement!<br />
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Merry Christmas, y'all, I love you!<br />
LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-90457779206132923952014-09-17T06:24:00.000-07:002014-09-17T06:24:03.046-07:00Autumn at One YearI can't believe I'm writing this post already. It seems like yesterday I was huge, and at this point in time, very very low. I loved giving birth to Autumn, it was amazingly smooth and stress free. And I literally (thanks to the AMAZING Dr. Cook) got to watch her come into the world. Insane. Surreal. I'm so grateful for that experience. If you want to know the details about that day, the original post is Called Autumn, it's on my blog somewhere;).<br />
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Autumn's first year has been filled with lots of fun ups, and some not so great downs, but that's pretty normal right?<br />
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It's funny how children are, I'm going to try to not talk about Karis as much, cause this is Autumn's post, so I'll just say this, when Karis was born, she opened her eyes, she told me, not even a day old, and she told me who she was and how things were going to go down. Autumn wasn't and hasn't been like that. She was my "sweets". She just was and is so sweet. When she would cry, she would relax when I calmed her. She breast feed a little better than Karis, she wasn't a huge fan of it at first, but she was able to be persuaded. I think that's the biggest thing I love about her, she's a little easier to persuade, but more on that later.<br />
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She was the baby Jesus at our church's Living Christmas Tree. She was amazing. She did it two nights, the first night she was all hair, and eyes open, trying to make eye contact with everyone on the stage and smiling. The second night, you couldn't see her as well cause of how they were holding the blanket, but then when they went to lift her up at the end, the blanket fell down, and she instinctively reached up, as if to touch Heaven. Sheer perfection. The child has acting chops of a professional.<br />
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She rolled over at twoish months, she was sitting up at around six month, the crawling and pulling up took a little while, she's not too interested in exerting any more energy on something than is needed. It's so embarrassing to admit, but I can already tell she got that from me. I can remember as far back as I can, and in high school, I would decide after a couple of weeks in school if the class I was taking was a class I could make an A or a B in, and then I would do the amount of work needed to make an A or a B in the class. It sounds so lazy I know, but I graduated high school with honors, participating in extracurricular activities, clubs, and participated in varsity sports, so I don't necessarily think I'm lazy, but I do remember I've always done enough but not necessarily an over achiever. At only a year, I can see that in her. It makes me a little excited to see some traits coming from me, but it's been slow learning her.<br />
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At first, because she was a little more laid back, there was talk that she may be a cuddler or an "easy" one. She's not really a cuddler, she loves to crawl all over me, and when she's sick she'll cuddle for that second, but then she's just ready to crawl. She is a busy-body. She loves to be in the mix of things. When there are a group of three or more people, she's crawling over there to see what's up. When I hold her in the hallways of church, she tries to make eye-contact with everyone at the church. She tries to keep up with her sister, it frustrates her when she can't keep up. And then she gets mad. Let's talk about that for a second. Oh my goodness, does she get loud! One night, when she woke up in the middle of the night and was having problems putting herself back to sleep, she was letting us know, Tim turns to me and says, "She's loud." I mean, when someone wakes up in the middle of their sleep and that's the first thing they say, you know you're loud. She gets that from me too. No apologies. She also throws things too. It's too cute right now to see her throw a hissy fit. I mean, she will just take the food, or her paci, or her juice cup and just CHUCK it. I mean, what do you do? Explain to a 11 mo old and tell her that's not how we act out our frustrations? Tell her to use her words? I don't know, but for now, it's cute. Talk to me in thirteen years, then I'll tell you how cute it is.<br />
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I will say her health has not been the best. Since about three months old she's had ear infections. At about five months, we found out she has a dairy allergy. I had hoped that switching milk would help with the sickness and ear infections, but she has continued to get sick with colds and such, that eventually turn into ear infections. At about eight months, I got tired of going to the doctor once a month for ear infections, so I turned all momma bear and even though our pediatrician never recommended a specialist, I got an ENT appointment and in two weeks or so, girl friend got herself a fresh pair of ear tubes. It's only a ten minute surgery, but going under anesthesia is never fun for anyone, but she came out like a champ, smiling and making eye contact with all the doctors and nurses.<br />
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Boy does this child love to smile. Even when she's in pain. Even when she's being disobedient. She has the biggest and best smile. She cheeses for the camera, well at least my iphone camera. She's not too into photo shoots, which is a shame, but with only two teeth, she has the biggest smile with her two teeth. I love it. I love her so much.<br />
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She's not walking quite yet, but she is just starting to pull herself up by herself then just stand alone. And you should see the smile she gives when she is standing by herself. I try to get a picture of it, but by the time I can get it, she sits down. She's so cute though, very mischievous, kind of a diva, but that would make her a Harper girl, so I guess somehow (even though, I certainly don't think I am divaish) Harper girls have diva in the blood. I love that too.<br />
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I hope I haven't left much out, I guess maybe you'll want to know if she's talking. Verbal stuff is kind of a sensitive subject for me, since Karis didn't talk until later, and still to this day I rely heavily on the Holy Spirit to help me decipher what the girl is saying. But I guess I'll talk more about that in her birthday blog. I'm trying to temper my expectations for my children in the verbal area. Autumn says, "dadadadada" a lot. I don't do sign language with her, I should, it just takes so much time and practice and my attention span is halved of the amount of time I had with Karis to teach her only two words. You see, meal time involves.... um... a lot when it comes to getting Autumn's older sister to eat, so there is not much time to devote to the Autumn who LOVES to eat most of what you put in front of her (currently, she is not digging pork or carrots... who knows why?) so, I don't know how much sign language she'll learn. She says "mamamama" when she's hurt or needs something. Typical. I guess it's just another lesson I should learn, right? But I guess I need to start going over more things, but she's not really swaying from dadadadada and mama, so like I said, I'm trying to keep my expectations, not as high when it comes to verbal development. I know, I shouldn't treat her the way I treat her older sister, but I had so much expectations for Karis, that it's been hard readjusting. I just want to create an environment for both of my girls where they can be set up for success no matter how fast or not fast they are developing. Sound good to you? I like it for us;)<br />
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Thanks for loving Autumn with us. Thanks for watching her grow up on facebook. For liking pictures, and leaving comments. Thanks for the hugs, the kisses. For holding her, because she is NOT light! Nope, she's a chunk-a-roo, and I LOVE it. Serious rolls and a booty, just like both her mom and her dad! When I think about all the family I have who love her, and the church we are currently going to right now, that has just embraced us, and to me most importantly, my children.Who love them, who miss them when they are not at church on Sundays or Wednesday night, brings me to happy tears. I'm so blessed to know my children are loved in such a great depth outside of our family circle. That makes this one happy and at-peace momma. That goes to everyone who reads this blog too, because somehow, you are taking time out to read, and care.<br />
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You can do anything for me, but the greatest is when you do something for the girls. Can't help that, it's just who I have become as a mother. Thank you for loving her, and through that, me. You rock.<br />
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LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-22140289297542595992014-08-08T05:45:00.001-07:002014-08-08T05:45:10.379-07:00Things that Bother MeDisclaimer: This is coming from my heart right now, so it may be dramatic, but it's been stirring inside for quiet awhile.<br />
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This morning I got up and checked my facebook. I decided to give in to all the postings that I had been purposefully skipping about Iraq, and I read one. And now, there are so many thoughts feels, emotions. I gotta put something out there. We NEED to do something, and this blog post is not nearly enough. Changing subjects, and I'll come back to this, promise.<br />
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Do you know my greatest concern when I was pregnant and moving with Autumn, was being in a house in time so I could decorate her nursery, <i>just right.</i> And then, one great concern of mine after she was born, was finding a photographer in my price range in order to get newborn pics. These were my greatest concerns. Then when she tuned 3 mo's my greatest concerns were about curing her ear infections, then when we found out she was allergic to dairy, my greatest concern was getting her switched to soy formula. Most recently, my greatest concern was Autumn getting tubes in her ears. A "surgery" that took about, um, ten minutes, and she didn't even throw up after coming off of the anesthesia (Thank you Lord!) <b>These have been my greatest concerns for Autumn's first year of life. </b><br />
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And finally, I'll tell you a story about how one day when Autumn was only a couple of months old, Tim and I took the girls to a park about five minutes down the road from us. And while Tim graciously ran around the park with Karis, Autumn fell asleep in my arms. Just plum felt so relaxed and safe that she feel asleep in my arms. Perfect right? Well, my dumb head had to start thinking about the MILLIONS of babies in the world that will never "fall asleep" in their mothers arms and know peace. I started crying because it starts to feel like, I got lucky, and now Autumn and Karis got lucky. They were born in a land, that is extremely annoying, however still provides peace for them to fall asleep in my arms, in a park.<br />
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I started feeling weird about why I obsess over my girls nursery so much. I mean, really, do they even need an uber-decorated room with pictures of them everywhere with a specific color them that is trendy? Do they need hand-picked furniture and a padded gliding chair that had to be re-upholstered for the new color scheme. And, the other day, thank to facebook, I finally figured out why this has been bothering me so much. A photographer went around the world and took pictures of children and their "rooms", and the lucky ones had at least a blanket to either lay on or cover themselves. One child's "room" had chicken wire for walls. <b>Chicken wire, </b>friends!<br />
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I have never once worried about a bomb going off in my backyard. Ever. Once time, when I was in high school, Lockhead started doing military drills with whatever airplanes and helicopters they had near our house, it was just scary seeing a military grade anything flying over head, but I knew they would not drop bombs. I do not know what it is like fear the sound of jets flying over my head.<br />
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And the babies. Are they all being breast fed? What about the ones whose mother's have died, is there a nurse-maid for them, or is there formula? What about the ones that have a dairy allergy, so they just struggle through that? What about the mothers who are SO young, 12 years old and such who are being persecuted too, and have children of their own? Friends, this is happening today, right now.<br />
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I'm sorry, I don't mean to be a Debbie-downer on your day. But if you can remember the Israelis and the Palestinians, please remember the Christians who are being beheaded (apparently, I have not checked, you can see these things on youtube, don't believe someone who says it isn't happening, a quick internet search can confirm that it is) raped, hung. Our brother's and sisters in Christ. And the babies. They are dying of starvation and thirst. I love you all, and my heart is heavy today. Praying for miraculous salvation people who are ACTUALLY BEING PERSECUTED for their Faith.<br />
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Love you all,<br />
LA<br />
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P.S. I am also calling my state Rep and Senator today. I live in the luxury of a Republic, I'm going to use that to let them know how much we need to help our friends. The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-33818822655298872282014-06-22T19:53:00.002-07:002014-06-22T19:56:14.576-07:00Who I am currently, at 29. On the eve of my 29th birthday, I wanted to document who I am right this minute, what I've learned, and have come to grips with, probably after wrestling with is for some years. Hopefully, I can continue to do this every year, to have a good look back.<br />
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- While I have finally learned how to correctly apply make-up, I hate putting it on, I only wear the full mask for special occasions<br />
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- Currently, I hate styling my hair. About a month ago, I chopped it off, and found a nice gel for people with curly/wavy hair. Thank you Aveda.<br />
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-I still love to dress up. Love it.<br />
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- There are two types of shoes in my closet, and in my opinion, there should only be two types of shoes: Stilettos and flats. HATE kitten heals.<br />
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- Black, White, and Gray. I am trying desperately to get my wardrobe to those three colors. They make me happy and feel sophisticated all the time.<br />
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- I believe more and more in spiritual warfare than I did a year ago.<br />
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-I believe less and less in coincidence. More like divine interactions.<br />
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- It drive people crazy I guess sometimes, but if it's something I have no way of changing, I've stopped wasting my efforts and worry on it. I try to focus my life on things I can affect.<br />
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- I literally just learned how to really forgive. Not just like "oh I forgive them" then spend years being bitter towards someone and still bad talking them. Like real unadulterated forgiveness. It's pretty awesome, but hard.<br />
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- I've learned how to apologize correctly, sincerely, acknowledging the thing I did wrong, looking someone in the eye and asking their forgiveness. Humbling, but freeing.<br />
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- I'm trying to live out Proverbs 15:1, I'll tell you how it's been going next year!<br />
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- I love a good party, but what's really nice is then being quiet for the next 48-72hrs. Gotta love being an introvert!<br />
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- Me and Tim are the definition of opposites attract. Wouldn't have it any other way, but man, It's been a journey learning how to spread Grace over all our differences!<br />
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- Their names are Karis and Autumn, they light up my life, I can't wait to see how stinkin awesome they are going to be as adults. They are going to do some pretty awesome stuff, cause they have already rocked my world in the short amount of time they've been on this Earth!<br />
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- I'm not so much into finding happiness these days, but delving in to the deep waters of Joy in all circumstances. It's hard.<br />
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- I've never researched a topic more than trying to figure out how to get the post-baby fat off my hips.<br />
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- I love helping, being a good supporting role, however I can be for you.<br />
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I love you guys lots, hope this was revealing and entertaining for you!!<br />
LA<br />
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<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-66739572115105690772014-06-05T10:41:00.003-07:002014-06-05T10:41:50.108-07:00Musings of a Stay-at-home-mom: Slowly, all of a SuddenIt hit me today. As I'm holding my oldest, her being semi-asleep as I carry her to her room, she's a lot bigger than I thought. Still bird-boned (that is an accurate description of her bones) still eats about a tablespoon of food to survive (I offer her much more than that, promise), but there she is, although the 18 mo size of her dress fits perfectly, she's getting too tall for it, thank goodness for bloomers. She's just, big.<br />
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She runs with expert grace around the playground, faster than some of the boys that are her size or bigger. Climbing up ladders and other playground things that children her age are just trying out. If she was tall enough and her arms could stretch, I bet she'd venture the monkey bars...<br />
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As I was taking her inside today, my mind flashed forward to a time when we're coming home from a gymnastics meet, cheerleading competition, (soccer game?), and she's tired and needs to take a nap. I cry just thinking about the child unbuckling herself and taking herself to her own bed.<br />
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I'd like to tell you these are tears of happiness that I'm crying. But they aren't. It makes me so sad to think that one day I won't be able to carry my bird-boned baby to bed. And don't get me started on the other one, I'm going to wake up and she's going to be a toddler, and you're going to get another sob-post from me...<br />
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I'm terrible at savoring moments. I am guilty of can't-wait-for-this-stage-to-pass-osis. But, not last night, as I laid both of my babies down to bed. Not this morning, as I carried both of their fragile self's down for nap time. Today I'm drinking it in. And it proves to be a sweet, but very heavy drink.<br />
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Drink it in y'all...<br />
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LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-4108496359829068982014-05-05T14:08:00.001-07:002014-05-05T14:08:37.006-07:00Happy Mother's Day Y'allNo, seriously, Happy Mother's Day. Ok, let me say it with an exclamation point, even though I really would like to emphasize it with a period... Happy Mother's Day!<br />
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I have the privilege of knowing some awesome mothers. We all do. I know mothers who have carried more than one baby during a pregnancy (that's a super human power), I know mothers who have LOTS of children. I know mothers who carry 100000000000 other hats besides just doing this mom gig, which is pretty sizable in itself. I know mothers who home school. I know mothers who have children with some type of disability whether it be physical or mental. I know mothers who have lost babies, of any age. But the thing that unites us most of all is my mother friends love the heck out of their children.<br />
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I mean, seriously, you love the guts out of your kids.<br />
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I mean, I don't just see it in the way you post 10000000 pictures of your kids on fb, and btw, I'm not one of those who wants it to stop, I want to see your babies ALL the time. It's not in the way you give them organic, home-grown food, or sew their ADORABLE dresses, or even have them in vacation bible school and memorizing scripture. I mean, all of that stuff is far more than amazing.<br />
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But it's the way your eyes light up when you talk about them. It's the way that even their burps, and poops are amazing. It's the way you celebrate their flaws and hope that they find themselves just an inkling as captivating as you find them one day.<br />
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The way that you ladies fiercely love your kiddos is the way I can see our Father in Heaven love us.<br />
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So mother's, Happy Mother's Day. I love you all, and I love how I can see Jesus in you, by the way you love the guts out of your children. Thank you for being an encouragement and model for me in my journey. :)<br />
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LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-40216839709388676802014-04-03T20:44:00.000-07:002014-04-03T20:54:28.760-07:00Pulling up to the Teacher's deskI'm going to start this post out with retelling a story of a significant event that happened in my life in college that I do not think I have ever told anyone. So, fittingly, I am now telling the world. And then, how God used the Thursday night bible study that I'm in to reaffirm His word for me. But let's go all the way back to my Senior year in college.<br />
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As a part of the process of graduating, I had to take an internship, and over the course of the internship, had to pick three supervising professors to tell me what they wanted me to learn about my internship, write a paper about it, and do an oral presentation on my findings. The paper would be reviewed and graded by all the professors, same as the presentation. I had to meet with each professor individually throughout the course of my internship and speak with them on my goals post-college, and tell them of my experiences during my internship. I had to pick a professor I whose class I took and I had to pick a professor I did not take a class with. The one I picked who I knew, was a professor that I had taken at least one of his classes each semester over the course of two years. He was an old, agnostic Jewish professor who was extremely intellectual, and who I had thoroughly enjoyed sparring (read: arguing) with over the course of the past two years. I had come to respect him, and studied really hard in his classes to make A's because I wanted him to know I valued his class and his lectures.<br />
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So, I go in for our first meeting, and he asks me what my plans for the future were, and I kind of spit ball my kind of my plans (I had no idea what or how I was going to do anything, since I knew I was going to be moving to Florida shortly after graduation). He sat there and listened, and then just looked me straight in the eye, and said, that I was an incredibly smart woman, with lots to offer, and that I was wasting my talents by setting my bar too low. That I was going to do great things. This man, that we basically had nothing in common, at least culturally, religiously, I mean I guess we were both voting republican at the time, but for incredibly different reasons. He could have just nodded his head and dismissed me. He didn't have to say much to me at all, He didn't even have to waste his time giving me advice. This man who I had argued ( I mean "sparred") with on a regular basis, told me I had talents! And that I was going to do great things! I left that meeting feeling totally confused, deeply humbled and gracious of his compliments, but mostly just feeling lost. How could this person who knew me so little, say I have these great talents, that I'm wasting, currently, and that I was going to do great things? His words have haunted me for almost ten years now.<br />
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As I sat in my car one day, thinking about what my professor told me, thinking about my life right now. Getting down on myself, because I had felt like I had wasted my talents. Driving around, running errands, wiping little girls booties (all. day. long), I wonder if my professor would approve of my use or not use of my talents. And what exactly those talents are? It was in my car as I was thinking of the haunting words my professor gave me, that the Lord gently whispered to me, "Why?"<br />
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I'm sorry Lord, why, what?<br />
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"Why do you keep thinking about this man, and the words that he said to you, over and over, and yet I AM so much greater than him, I know you even better than him, and have spoken SO many things over you, and yet, you don't think about my words over you than his? Why does he get preference over me?"<br />
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Oh Lord, I'm so sorry. Oh Lord, please forgive me!<br />
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That happened earlier on Thursday, then Thursday night at my girls bible study it was reiterated through the words of the leader, Jackie. She likened it to if you were really passionate about golf, and THE GREATEST person in golf came up to you and spoke things to you, you would listen and you would value those words. But I don't know anything about golf, so when someone talks to me about this "great person" in golf, I kind of nod off and just smile. Sometimes we do that with God, we just nod and smile at Him like we have no idea who He is or what He's talking about. And then she said, "Think of the greatest person in whatever you are passionate about, God is even greater than that person, listen to what He has to say!" And instantly, I'm transported to my conversation with the Lord in my car about my professor.<br />
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What a sweet confirmation. That I need to be pulling my chair up to the Lord's desk. To sit there, and maybe tell Him my plans, my thoughts, my desires, my fears, my failures.But more importantly, listen to <i>Him.</i> He has already told me in His Word He has given me promises, He has given me talents, that He knows my future. I need to pull my seat up to His desk and look in His eyes, and hear what He has to say. He is the greatest, He has the words, no one else.<br />
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Have you pulled your seat up to His desk? Will you join me?<br />
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Love y'all,<br />
LA<br />
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<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-83057110306337492372014-02-21T17:20:00.000-08:002014-02-21T17:20:37.482-08:00Musings of a Stay-at-home-mom: So you're new to this?Talking to a lot of women lately, I've had that impression on my heart to speak about a subject that is close to my heart, one of the only subjects I'm passionate about that doesn't relate to foster/adopting children (that is whole different post, or blog for that matter), it's when someone, specifically a women leaves the workforce to become a stay-at-home mom, or wife. In my conversations with women, I am finding some themes, maybe something they wish they had known before they left the workforce, so they could mentally prepare, and maybe some advice. I mean, I say "advice" loosely, you can take it or leave it, but it's just things I have learned along they way.<br />
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Let me just say this first. Leaving the workforce and coming home had a honeymoon period. Mainly because I quit around the holiday time so I didn't have time to think about stuff. But after the holidays were over, life came crashing down real hard. Things that are real about being a stay-at-home wife/mother.<br />
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1. It can be extremely lonely/ isolated. There can be days, or weeks that you don't talk to or see another human being besides or your husband or kids. Unless you are like the 1% of society that is just involved in book clubs, on top of tennis leagues, and committee boards, you are home with just you (or a small minion who may or may not be able to converse with you, and even if they do, it's not adult conversations, I mean, seriously, just today I spent the greater part of four hours answering the question: "what's that?") Grocery shopping turns in to your "big event" for the day. Or going to the dog park, or the playground. You wonder, is this what my life has turned into? Walgreens, then Publix, then home in time to vacuum and have dinner ready? Unless you just hated the place and burned so many bridges when you quit, you start making excuses to drop by the old workplace, just to see people. You are not alone in feeling alone.<br />
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2. Unless you are a mother of three, no one will understand why you are tired, you know, cause you're at home all day, what do you do with all your time??? This might be offensive to you, but it's ok for people to wonder that. Because they are rushing at work all day, and then when they come home, they may be rushing all evening until their head hits the pillow. But here's the deal, you DO do a lot. You DO, I know cause I did, and still do it too. I blame our culture. America wants you to be busy All. The. Time. So if you had an extra five minutes this morning to drink a cup of coffee, have some quiet devotion to start your busy day, you are lazy. Don't believe that sack of lies. And don't buy in to, now that you are home you need to fill your day with more activities. I have more on this, but you'll have to skip down to my "advice" section:)<br />
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3. In your head you knew your work would go unrecognized, but now you can feel it in your heart how much it hurts that you really get no recognition for your work. I don't think I was the most life-changing social worker in the world when I worked, <i>but </i>I did receive a paper "plaque" that congratulated me on my efforts (and no, it wasn't one of those participation awards where everyone in the unit got it, only two did... out of six... so..ok it was almost a participation award, but still!) And one time I did earn a pizza party (Elementary school style!) I know, you want to be a social worker now, moving on... I don't get plaques at home, Tim is an amazing husband, but he is still human. Your husband (or kids) will have no idea how many hours of wash you do, vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, dusting, organizing, unless you die. Or are gone for a weekend. Or just a day really. You may know in your head that it was going to be hard, but those pizza parties at work really did keep your morale up! It's ok to miss that friend, you are in good company.<br />
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4. There is no such thing as weekend. You don't just stop cooking cause it's Saturday (unless it's DATE NIGHT!!!) You don't just not do bedtime cause you've been doing it all week and now you do not want to do bedtime. Nope, these things, these labors of love, your job, your career as a home-maker, a life-molder, the activity-planner, the GLUE THAT HOLDS IT ALL TOGETHER, never stops.<br />
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Maybe there are more truths I've missed, if you have some to add, leave them in the comment section, and we can discuss in another post! But for now, it's late and my caffeine buzz is wearing out. And I don't want this post to get too long or you will stop reading. You know I'm right, don't you? So here is my "advice" or really some Grace to give you about these hard truths:<br />
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1. Do not let the devil get a foothold in your loneliness. If/when you get lonely, do not just sit in it. If you are a mother, at the playground, look at the mother next to you pushing their child on the swing, smile, and say "hi." Chances are they are just as bored as you are of pushing their young little tyke 1000 times on the swing, and are hoping for some break in the monotony as well. If you are a stay-at-home wife, join a bible study that meets during the week. Or even befriend stay-at-home moms you know. When I first came home, it was just me, no one to look after, but me, I was pregnant, but it was still just me. I would go to lunch with one of my dearest friend, and while our conversations were broken up by the chattering of her beautiful little toddler, I loved having lunch with her and I know (now from experience) Chick-fil-a is so much nicer when you can share it with someone. Being a stay at home wife mother by definition is isolating, you can't help that, it's in the title, but it does NOT have to be lonely.<br />
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2. Just because you are not working, does not mean you have to go find 80 different activities, committees, volunteering, or sports clubs. I guess right now, I am talking to introverts. I have a dear friend, who is extroverted, who is a stay-at-home mom, who does SO many amazing things. And as I started to compare myself with her, I felt God saying to me, "Don't do that! I created her that way, and she is doing what I have told her to do! I didn't create you that way, so don't start stretching yourself in ways I didn't intend for you to stretch". And that was the end of that. Let me be honest with you about what I do during the day. I love on my girls. SO much. Some mornings I sit down on my couch, and hold both of them in my arms (as long as K will allow anyway:)) and we watch a movie together before we go do errands. I run errands, I clean the kitchen, I do the 100th load of laundry for the week, on Wednesday nights I volunteer my help, and am involved in a bible study on Thursday nights. That is it. There maybe is one more extra activity I am praying about doing. But friends, you do not need to fill your days up! Who says that just because you quit a 40 hr a week job that you need to fill in your days with 40 hours of tangible "doing stuff." You be whatever wife/mother God calls you to be, and whatever on top of that you want to do, pray about, but let me reiterate, you are not obligated to some kind of time quota!<br />
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3. So now you really appreciate the Hallmark created holiday "mother's day." So you cry at P&G or Publix commercials, cause they <i>really </i>get you as a mother. It's ok to feel a certain pang of pride when you get to stand up in church to be recognized as a mother. Or, for the stay at home wives, when your husband comes home and lets you have the evening off to get a pedicure or just do whatever, you stay out, maybe an extra hour later than expected.. (I wouldn't recommend any more hours, or you might not come back;)) So you pat yourself on the back for getting those bathroom sinks EXTRA white. DO IT! Give yourself a pat on the back. Relish those compliments a second longer before they become pride. But here's the real deal. You came home to be a servant to your family. Whether or not its your husband or a gaggle of children along with him. Find your recognition in the Lord. His approval. His Grace. He is enough. Don't rely on P&G commercials or (as great as he is) your husband to fill you up with recognition to keep going. Look up to the One who always sees you and can fill your heart with more than enough to keep going. And maybe sometime order a pizza and throw yourself your own pizza party... I'm just sayin'...<br />
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4. You may not get weekend off, but unless you want to risk a black out and coming to to find your kids staring at you wide-eyed and your husband missing ( just kidding!). You need to block in time for yourself. If it's just a couple of hours to yourself at Starbucks once every couple of weeks, or a pedicure. God was serious about setting up a Sabbath and keeping it. And let's be honest, as a wife/mother you are not keeping a Sabbath (yeah, you're still cooking the Sunday Supper, and making sure the kids go down for their naps, and taking your older ones to choir in the afternoon, that is NOT resting). I remember learning in history, about a time in France, when the people went all anti-God and did away with a seven day work week that celebrated a Sabbath. They changed it to a ten day work week with no day for rest. You know what happened? The people went crazy. They changed it back. Get with your husband and communicate and plan for time off for yourself.<br />
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I love you all so much. I hope this was helpful to my friends who are stay at home moms. And as I'm writing, I'm thinking about my working mothers, I hope you are not hurt by this post. If I had experience in working full time and being a full time mom, I would write one as well. My life is not over, and I have SO many years left of motherhood I may get to write a post like that one day! My sincere hope as I write this is to encourage the women I have come in contact with that are coming home for the first time. Praying for Grace and endurance for all of us. Because seriously, moms, you are the glue that holds it all together!<br />
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Love you,<br />
LA<br />
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<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-32639992702865819492014-02-20T20:01:00.004-08:002014-02-20T20:01:43.153-08:00AutumnSo for friends and family out there who didn't get the story of how Autumn came into the world, I wanted to put it out there. I did it for Karis and I wanted Autumn to have her story out there so she can read about it one day;).<br />
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Autumn's arrival was almost the exact opposite of Karis'. While with Karis I was nervous and a little anxious not knowing how everything played out. With Autumn, I was not only calm, but it was genuinely a fun and easy-going experience.<br />
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I knew A was coming early. There was a lot of pain, and some really hard contractions on the Thursday night before she came. I actually started having some a couple minute apart, but I promised my sister that I would not have the baby before my shower she was throwing me on Saturday, so I started deep breathing turned on my side and tried to go to sleep to stop the contractions from getting worse.<br />
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That Friday morning I went to my gynecologist for my 38 week check up and my doctor told me that he was not certain how I wasn't going into labor already. Without going into details, I was really far along. Funnily enough, I wasn't having any more contractions from the night before. My doctor, who I totally loved and really wanted to be the one to deliver Autumn, said if I could hang out until my check up on Tuesday he would strip my membranes and that should put me into labor. I didn't think I would make it that long since I was so far a long my Friday morning, but we put it on the calender.<br />
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Well, the weekend came and went with no more contractions, it was so weird. To be honest, I was feeling a little sad that she didn't come right after the shower, I thought we were so ready! But I kept reminding myself it was ok she didn't come because I had my appointment with Dr. Cook on Tuesday morning. On Monday, my wonderful sister in law came over and watched Karis while I did one last grocery shop. I wanted to be able to get some easy meals to make for after I had the baby. I also stocked up on breakfast foods. I was so grateful to have Monday to get ready. My mom came over Monday night and while I was able to go on two long walks that day, nothing started any lasting contractions.<br />
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Tuesday morning, we went to my doctor appointment in the morning. My mom came with me and Tim because she was very sure I was going to be checked into the hospital that day. Tim and I went into the back, and after checking my progression, Dr. Cook was once again astounded that I was either not having any contractions, or not feeling any major contractions. He went ahead and did his procedure to help me progress in labor more and asked if I was going to have an epidural. I told him that yes, I was going to get one, and so he told me that I was already halfway there ins dilation, so that I should go check myself in. That was one of the most wonderful things about my doctor's office. It is attached to the hospital I gave birth in, so instead of having to drive anywhere, we just walked across the hall to check myself in.<br />
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Easy peasy.<br />
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The Labor and Delivery Floor was empty. Like the receptionist had gone on her break, we had to buzz a nurse, and even then, we had to find the second nurse's station that was at the end of the floor to find someone to check us in. I'm still feeling great, the nurses, my mom, Tim, and even I am surprised that I'm not feeling any contractions yet, I'm five centimeters dilated for goodness sake. Check in was smooth, I was ushered into a room, filled out some short forms, I almost didn't have time to pre-register, Autumn came so early! It wasn't a short time later they came in with the epidural. The anesthesiologist was just as surprised as all of us that I still wasn't feeling any contractions.<br />
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I'm still so thankful I got that epidural. Cause for some reason, magic number seven centimeters, I was feeling it. Autumn must have found a nerve to sit on down there, cause at the very end, even with the lower half of my body numb, I felt every single one of those contractions, thanks to that wonderful nerve she found to sit on. It felt like someone was punching my lower back every time I had a nice long and hard contraction. All I can say is, thank you Lord for modern medicine, and that I live in the United States of America. Cause I am so not sure I could do this with no meds.<br />
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Anyway, the nurse checked me for one last time, and with a little maneuvering put me at ten centimeters, and then told me not to push cause she had to go get the doctor. It was nice though, it gave me time to pick out a cute set of pajamas that Jennifer had brought for me to be comfy. The doctor who delivered Autumn was amazing. He had been doing this forever, and told me that this was going to be fast and we weren't going to be laboring that long. He was truly my favorite. And he didn't lie. I did a couple of practice pushes, then he looked at me and said, "I want you to push smarter not harder, some of your pushing is inefficient, just listen to me and do what I tell you to do." So I did, I pushed for five minutes. FIVE whole minutes, that is AMAZING! Then, something that I will carry in my heart forever, the doctor told me to stop pushing. And the last contraction brought her into the world as I just sat up and watched her come in. It was so quiet, it was like the world stopped spinning as she just came here. I will hold those seconds close to my heart as long as I live.<br />
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And there she was, red, deliciously chunky, and with a head FULL of dark brown hair. Just. Like. Her. Momma. Only, that was the only day she looked anything like me, she is five months old as I type this and is a spitting image of her father. She is beautiful though. She has beautiful big eyes that most likely will turn dark brown like her daddy's. I'm still not convinced I can have children with green eyes, something to do with genetic alleles, but I love brown eyes. She has a cute pug(ish) nose, and the BEST smile, as wide as the ocean.<br />
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She is my sweet. That is what I whispered to her her first days on this earth. My sweats. I love her so much. I am so glad that she's here, that God decided that she should be apart of our plan. She is more than an addition to our family, she completes us even more. I hope she reads this, one day, and knows that I was calm throughout the whole labor and delivery because I knew she would be amazing. And she was, and she is.<br />
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Love you all,<br />
LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-60059776561268009952014-01-29T19:15:00.001-08:002014-01-29T19:15:34.342-08:00Musings of a Stay-at-home-mom: Accepting your Spiritual GiftThis blog turned into something where I share what I have been learning while going through life. Hence the title. One thing I have struggled in the past with my spiritual gift. I have taken lots of tests, several classes, and yet couldn't find a place where I fit in to serve at my church. Until recently. Recently, I took a class at my church that really broke down, who I am, what my passions are, and what gift God gave me to serve His church in sync with my passions. And you will not believe what I found out. Drum roll please, my spiritual gift is:<br />
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Helps</div>
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Yes, that is actually a spiritual gift. Promise. It isn't really flashy. It doesn't really have a specific place. Like if you have the gift of music, or teaching, evangelism. It is really easy to figure out where those go. But what <i>exactly</i> does a person do when they have such a non-specific gift. I know it might be easy. But I struggled with this for a long time.</div>
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How many times did I try to make myself, and my spiritual gift into something it wasn't? I tried writing, it went well for awhile, until I was exhausted from having to tap that part of my brain too many times, I have a serious respect for those who have that gift. I tried leading a small group table during a bible study for Experiencing God. Towards the end, I was begging to be joined with other tables to take the pressure off of me, it was exhausting, once again. This was not supposed to happen. Your gift energizes you, not exhausts you!</div>
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And here is where the fun part comes in. God revealed to me where I actually fit in, and serve in my church. I help. I know, it sound so simple, but it really has taken me a long time to figure it out. Teaching, writing, leading bible studies, all these things take too much commitment and a lot of pressure for me, honestly, it's a lot of stress. But committing to help is stress free.I helped out with VBX and taught fifth graders over the summer. Currently, I help out with a friend when she teaches GA's it's awesome. I help out in the preschool whenever they need me. I LOVE being the person who the church calls if they need help when they are short on volunteers. I love being a person they can ask if they need help. I love lending my help when needed.</div>
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It is crazy that it took me that long to figure it out. It is crazy how filling in when help is needed makes me feel joy. I can't lead a children's class, it's just not in me to teach a group of children for a long period of time. But if the teacher can't come in, and they are scrambling to find someone to fill in? I can do that. You need someone to do the menial tasks you don't want to do, so you can focus on the big picture of your project? I. Can. Help. So freeing, so fun because I get to be a cog to make the big machine work. So thankful for God revealing to me my roll. So thankful that I finally feel apart of my church and find joy and get energized from what I do.</div>
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I may not be a flashy part of the body. I'm more like the little toe, The smallest part of the foot, but without it, you can't walk. Grateful to have a roll, and that I get to use my gift. Grateful that God stripped me of my pride so I could see clearly where I fit in best. But most importantly, looking forward to seeing how God is going to use my gift, now that I have accepted and love it, in the future. </div>
The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-15963218497899670412014-01-26T13:49:00.000-08:002014-01-26T13:49:11.870-08:00I Want...- A vacation, probably from the kids<br />
- warmth, like literal warmth, I'm over the cold.<br />
- To see my friends in Orlando, I miss them.<br />
- For that matter, to see Jenn Morris in Texas, again.<br />
- An In N Out burger, or a weeks worth of them<br />
- A pedicure<br />
- A girls night out<br />
- A real date night with Tim<br />
- Kareoke night with my family again<br />
-To lose a couple more pounds<br />
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To find Joy in all things, whether I get to cross things off of my want list or not. My new word for this year is Joy. We were singing a praise song this morning and this lyric really got me:<br />
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"All my deserts are rivers of Joy."<br />
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Slowly but surely, God is turning deserts in my life to rivers of Joy. Can't wait to see what desert (or deserts!) He is going to rivers of Joy in 2014.<br />
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Love y'all lots,<br />
LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-90184642584231588682014-01-15T13:18:00.000-08:002014-01-15T13:18:58.285-08:00Musings of a Stay-at-Home Mom: What to do when you find yourself alone with your second bornAfter much thought and deliberation, we decided to try out putting K in a preschool program at our church, it's really called a Mother's morning out, but around here, we call it school. It's super fun for Karis, and it gives me five hours with one child two days a week. I'm sure some of you are wondering, since I don't have a job (other than being a full-time mom) What I do with all that time?!?<br />
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Here is what I did, in order of importance:<br />
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Give the second born much needed love and attention without having Karis vie for my attention.<br />
Enjoy her smiles.<br />
More kisses.<br />
Sweet nose cuddles.<br />
Grocery shop.<br />
Lots of smiles and baby talk between the two of us.<br />
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There is the temptation to do 100000000 errands that are so much easier to do with one child. But I LOVE getting alone time with Autumn. I had two years of alone time with Karis, so getting about 10hrs a week with Autumn is pretty cool.<br />
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I love my girls.<br />
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I love Preschool!<br />
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<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-59873088542876944362014-01-13T11:56:00.002-08:002014-01-13T11:56:34.215-08:00Musings of a Stay-at-home-mom: Episode 1Tim got me this really amazing tablet/laptop combo for Christmas. It's original purpose was to help me for when I got a job. I haven't gotten a job, so I use it to blog while I watch some hulu while K and A sleep. How much fun am I? At least I'm using it!<br />
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And I'm using it to tell you some stuff.<br />
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First and foremost: I am SUPER excited, and maybe a little nervous. I'm excited cause this weekend will mark a huge event in my life. Me, my two best friends from college and life, our husband, and our collective four children will spend a weekend in a cabin in the woods. It's what dreams are made of! Well, really, it's what the musings of three college age girls who thought it would be super fun one day to spend a weekend together in a cabin in the woods. When we were talking about it, I honestly did not picture it with children, but nonetheless, I'm excited!<br />
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But here's the deal: Tim and I hold a friday night bible study at our house for college/career folk at our house. When telling them about our weekend and how much we were looking forward to it, a girl sadly exclaimed, "I don't have any girls that we plan on going to a cabin in the woods with our husbands with!" And my first thought was, "Get some!"<br />
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No, seriously, get some! Women, I'm talking specifically to you. I have this feeling that, for women who aren't married college/post college age, sometimes life gets lonely. That makes me so sad. My friends pulled me through so much in life, and one thing that also pulled me along was our dreams together. To one day vacation together, to watch each other grow our families together, to support our marriages with each other together.<br />
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Girls, let's be honest, sometimes we are so focused on the male species that we sometimes forget to foster relationships with each other, especially in times when we need each other. This is true of us when we are single, and in relationships. Get some girlfriends, appreciate them, love them, and grow old with them. I, for one, cherish each of my girls, and am so thankful for them as my friends.<br />
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And am looking forward to spending a weekend in a cabin, in the woods, with our husbands! And children...<br />
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Love y'all lots,<br />
LA The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-14081434086480595052014-01-05T19:21:00.002-08:002014-01-05T19:21:38.045-08:00New Year's RevolutionNo, I didn't misspell the title. I don't do resolutions. I did one a couple of years ago, posted it on the blog, and I'm pretty sure failed at all of the resolutions, and that failure stuck with me the whole year. Nope, I'm done setting myself up for failure. I would rather challenge myself with success. So, I revolt.<br />
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Against myself.<br />
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This year, I want stop being the person that has been so negative, tired, and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who's dreams are on the horizon, you know, the fictitious line in the distance that can never be reached. I want to revolt against all of that.<br />
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This year, I want to be happy, to feel hope and relish the Sun, even when I can't see it. I want to cherish my dreams, but instead of focusing on them and bemoaning my present life, I want to hand those dreams over to God, for safe keeping, and find so much contentment in my present.<br />
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To look into both of my daughter's eyes daily and be blessed by them, instead of focusing on all the things I have to teach them and worry. Autumn will sit up on her own one day, and then one day she will crawl, and then she will walk. It will happen, stop trying to get her to a year before it's time. The first year really is so hard.<br />
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I want to stop worrying about Karis' speech and potty training. I still have no idea how I'm going to get her potty trained, but I'm so tired of being defeated by that. I will potty train her, I don't care if she goes to the bathroom all over our house, it's going to get done, and I just need to stop worrying about that.<br />
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A revolution is so many things. It's the earth's rotation around the sun. It's when a people over-throw their current government. My favorite definition of revolution: sudden, radical, or complete change. Whatever kind of revolution you think of, the one thing that stays the same in all circumstances is, you always change.<br />
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Here's to my New Year's revolution. Wonder where I'll be in a year?<br />
<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-62057821341699963392013-06-20T12:29:00.001-07:002013-06-20T12:31:41.461-07:00I am a ChildSo, this might not be very long or deep, but it's what's on my heart now. And since I rarely have time or motivation to write about all the fun, silly, possibly deep and thoughtful feelings I have, I'm taking this time to run with it. One of my friends posted a link to a tumblr blog on reasons why their son is crying. I laughed SO hard at this. The child who cries because they want more cinnamon roll when they have a whole plate in front of them. Or the one that cries because you won't walk on them as a human bridge. And it makes me think of Karis. As she is rapidly approaching two, and since she still amazingly and stubbornly refuses to verbalize a sentence, we are having all kinds of crying fits over things that are so simple. She cries when I leave the room, instead of just asking where I am. (Mind you, she knows what "mommy's room", "kitchen", "Karis' room", and "garage" mean, she just would rather cry out instead of look to find me). She cries when I don't get her what she wants when she wants it NOW. She cries if she does not understand what I'm doing, when what I'm doing is what she wants, it's just a process. And the more she cries, the more I fall in love with her, cause the more she puts me in my place when it comes to God.<br />
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I am that child.</div>
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On a daily basis it's like, "Why haven't you done what I want you to do God!?" "Where are you and why aren't you coming to meet me where I want you!?" "I said I wanted _______ NOW!" "Fix him/her/ ALL OF THEM!" "Why won't you just give me what I pray fooooooooorrrrrrr!? (extra whiny voice).</div>
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Tears, yelling, definitely pouting, and then when I'm really tired of looking up at the sky, I just, you know, give God the cold shoulder. Right? I mean, totally giving God the cold shoulder helps me in MY life, and makes what I want come to fruition. Correct? No. I will say it again, just so you know that I know my heart needs a serious transplant. NO. Do you know that the last part of the love chapter in I Cor. 13 states, "When I was a child, I thought like a child, I acted like a child, I spoke like a child, when I became a man, I put away my childish ways." I did not copy that word for word from the Bible, that is my paraphrase. And would you believe it, this verse has been one that has been echoing in recesses of my mind, whispered in my ear by my Heavenly Father for quite some time now. </div>
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Maybe I should start a tumblr on reasons why I am crying?</div>
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I hope you don't think I'm like walking around all the time whining like a child. I don't do it in the day hours, I promise. Thank you for loving me right where I am y'all!</div>
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Love you lots,</div>
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LA</div>
The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-59350426679433948062013-03-10T11:13:00.001-07:002013-03-10T11:14:13.809-07:00DNowOur church just finished it's DNow weekend, and as I was trying to hurry Tim to the sanctuary because I knew there would be less seats, it never occurred to me that there are just as many kids out there who have no idea what DNow is as there are that do. He thought it was so strange that a bunch of highschoolers get together over a weekend to sleep in other people's home and then all go to church together on Sunday. I love having Tim in my life because he brings me out of my church bubble. I mean, we try to make a church bubble now for Karis, but there are definitely things that I accept growing up in the South, in a family that goes to church regularly, that is very involved with the church, that I just don't think about the other side of that. So I don't know if it's because it hit so close to home because Orlando had DNow, they just called it something different, or because our new church is a little smaller and I sat closer to the highschoolers, I just started thinking about all those great times growing up in church.<br />
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I don't think I've ever told anyone this, but on the last day of church camp my Senior year, I balled like a baby. Not because I'd necessarily miss that camp, or the people at the came. (Just to be clear, I do love me some Camp Cherokee, and I do love and miss my close high school friends). But I knew that never again would I be a camper at a camp. They have no church camps for college kids, singles, marrieds, or marrieds with children. The closest thing you get when you are older are retreats, and marriage retreats. All are nice, and seriously needed when you go on them. But none are church camp. A camp where you go for the week where activities are planned for you, meals are prepared with you in mind, speakers are flown in, bands play amazing music, and counselors are literally there to pray for you, talk to you, and teach you about Jesus and His Word. (Now that I think about it, really the closest thing to that is a marriage retreat, but I could never afford to go on one for a FULL week, like church camp, so I'm saying there really is nothing out there like that). No, it's like when you graduate high school, you are cut off from being a camper. No one sat down and told me that, we didn't have full conversations about the gravity of that situation, that I would never be a camper again. It just happened, and really in such a way because my last camp as a Senior was followed immediately by middle school camp where I was a counselor. Like, BOOM, transition, done. And then as I was mourning the loss of that part of my life, and just wishing, maybe for a second that I could be a camper again, God whispered this lovely verse into my head:<br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;">"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man (or woman, to those who need that), I put childish ways behind me."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">God reminded me that it's no longer that stage of my life anymore. That while being a camper, being ministered to was a sweet and special time in my life, I had to become the camp counselor because we can't drink spiritual milk forever. I have to digest the more hearty truths of the Word because I have others in my life I have to care for, because (and this is super hard to believe for me) others (somewhere out there, maybe...) are looking at me, at my life and thinking about whether or not I am a good example of someone they want to be like. That Karis does not need a camper for a mother, but a counselor. And I need to minister to her, and to others. I need to honor the time, efforts, prayers, and sacrifices of those who invested in me as a camper, in order that I may grow up to replace them or help them in this circle of ministry. Don't get me wrong, being a camper, is not being childish, it's just, I did think differently, as a camper, I was self-absorbed because when I needed to talk to someone, divulge my problems or fears, I expected someone to be there for me, asap. To listen, and care, and pray, and hug. That is the example that was set, so that I may grow, put the self-</span></span><span style="color: #001320;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">absorption behind me, and be there for others. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;"><span style="color: #001320; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">We've got a bit of a road ahead of us ladies and gentlemen, right? But then again, God also says this:</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;">"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">God specifically did some things in my life within the past six months or so, namely moving me away from some very solid friends who where amazing Christian mentors to me, that had been my "camp counselors", and it has been an extremely hard process to move away from my camper mentality to the counselor mentality, but I'm convinced it was the right time, and God always knows what He is doing, and it is always good.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f9fdff; color: #001320; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 25px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So, while moving was and is extremely painful, it has produced some small, steady growth in my heart, and I look forward to seeing where God leads in that. So, now I'll lead you with the last verse He just laid on my heart:</span></span><br />
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"See, I am doing a new thing!</div>
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Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?</div>
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I am making a way in the desert</div>
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and streams in the wasteland."</div>
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Grateful that God is not content with leaving my heart a wasteland, I love you all,</div>
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LA</div>
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The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-78520813865852402162013-01-02T09:51:00.000-08:002013-01-02T09:51:15.150-08:00Practicing Intervention2013 is going to be such a fun year for a lot of people. Mainly because what feels like half of my friends had kids at the end of last year, or are having them at the beginning of this one. This means that they will experience the first year of parenting a child. And I have such sweet friends that ask for my advice. And on the inside all I'm thinking is, "Have you seen my life, my kid? Do you really think I've done anything right? Really? You're just being nice right now, it's sweet." But on the outside, I stammer something like, always make a decision you are comfortable with. I never give specific advice, for a specific reason: No human is specific. That's why when you go off to college and decide to major in something crazy stupid like, oh, Sociology (I did:)) and then people tell you, why don't you get a REAL major. It's because the Humanities aren't considered REAL science, because you can't put humans into an equation. Ever. Trust me, as a social worker for almost three years, and a mom for a little over a year now. Your little human you are growing, will never follow the same equation as any other human. That means that, according to the human population, there is over six billion ways to grow a human. At this point in time, I'm thinking high level calculus is easier than the human equation.<br />
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But ever the human race, we still try to quantify (or is is qualify?) ourselves into a neat package. Dr. Spock wrote a book in the 60's, a million people have been writing them since. We read Babywise or we take on philosophies of breast feeding until the child can talk, or have a family bed, or we do the exact opposite of all of that. All in the ever-present desire to grow a human the "right" way. You know, we want them to become smart, or to play an instrument well, or to impact the world for something! We don't want them to sit at home and waste their life. We want them to be happy and to reach their potential. And all of that energy boils down to whether or not we are going to breast feed them or not? Why yes, yes it does. Oh my gosh, is it any wonder why mom's are so stressed out these days about all these different things? Well, maybe I'll address more of that in another blog, but today, to answer my sweet friends who ask if I have any advice, I'll tell you the one thing I am trying to learn, and will probably be trying to learn everyday for the rest of Karis' life. You ready?<br />
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When should I step in and intervene?</div>
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I struggled with this when K was doing tummy time, then when she was learning to crawl, (I actually never intervened when she was learning to walk, because, to be honest, I did not want her to walk soon, but she took care of learning to walk all by herself, on her own... so...) when to intervene if she is learning a new thing, like climbing. Do I help her climb? Do I discourage her from climbing? When I know she's about to bust it trying to climb on the chair, do I let her bust it, or prevent an accident? There are pro's and con's for each argument. When do I step in my daughter's life and teach her? Do I do it before she is about to hurt herself, or after? When is she the most teachable? I honestly have struggled with this all the time. As a parent, I never want my daughter to feel pain, but sometimes if feels like she is bent on feeling it no matter how many warnings I give her. Do I step aside and watch in pain as she busts it for the 1000th time, or once again step in to prevent an accident and have her attempt to hurt herself again? Does this sound familiar to older mothers? I mean, am I not incorrect in saying that for the rest of my life I will be wondering "when should I step in on this?". </div>
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But I want to learn this early, she is not an equation. There is no exact same way I should step in all the time. I want to learn fast to lean into the Holy Spirit. To head the direction of the One who knows all. I think if I could practice this step early, in little things, in baby steps. Maybe, I'll won't be caught off guard when she's a pre-teen coming home from school with all kinds of new problems that I am just not ready to think about right now. I want to practice learning when intervention is best. </div>
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So, do I have any advice? Not really, the first year of parenting is so hard. Because you are learning when to practice intervention all the time. Whether is letting her cry it out at night, to going in and soothing her, all the way to when it's time to start baby food, and on up to where to go to college. We make what we feel are little decisions at the child's beginning, but what we don't realize is we are practicing for the big stage, when the decisions have a greater risk and reward. So, my advice is to practice now listening to God, and seeking His advice on the little things, and being at confidently at Peace with your decisions. Because I so agree with the scripture with the Lord says, "<span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones." </span><span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I 100% believe that verse applies not only to our gifts, but our parenting as well. I hope you have a wonderful year learning more about your beautiful babies and how to grow a human. Keep letting me know how it goes! Love you all.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #fffefd; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">LA </span></span></div>
The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-70701622614616847372012-11-08T10:53:00.000-08:002012-11-08T10:53:16.886-08:00ThankfulSo, on facebook everyone is posting one thing they are thankful for each day of the month of November, leading up to Thanksgiving. It's awesome, it truly is. I'm just not doing it. I was talking to my friend the other day, and she was like, "I feel like if I start doing it now, I'm like jumping on a bandwagon." And I totally agreed with her. But I did think it was a good blog. So, instead of posting on facebook, I'm blogging about my thankfulness. Still probably jumping on the bandwagon, but what a good one to jump on!<br />
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1. Grace, that kind that was here at the creation of the world, but became known through Jesus Christ.<br />
2. Salvation. Not the same as Grace, it's me confessing to you that I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and died to take the place of me for my punishment. And that by accepting His gift of Salvation, I am adopted in the family of Christ, and when I die, I will live with Him in Heaven for all eternity, as He has saved me from the absence of His presence.<br />
3. My health. That encompasses everything about my body, to my absence of needing doctors in my life on a regular day basis.<br />
4. For Tim. Because he's amazing and awesome and he helps out around the house and he loves Karis like whoah, because he is my sugar daddy, and doesn't mind, and he just is all this package of Mr. Fixit man who has a job and loves his family, and if any woman ever thinks she will get him... I will cut her. Jk, kind of.<br />
5. For Karis. Because she lights up my life, every morning there is something new and different and she has more sass than I can handle, but she is beautiful. She steals my heart everyday, and I just don't mind. I have mommy love, and I will be ever in her debt for letting me experience that. Mommy love is amazing and awful all at the same time, but it's totally worth it.<br />
6. For living in this country. I just got to vote, and I did not have to walk into a place with an armed soldier, I just voted. Like it was no big thing, except, it's kind of a huge thing. If you didn't vote, you should go live in China, and try to complain to someone about something the government does, and threaten their job. See if you don 't end up in jail, or dead. Now, if you can, do that in the US. You might get ignored, but at least you did not end up in jail or dead, that is pretty awesome.<br />
7. For being a woman. It sounds so weird, but I get to experience some pretty cool stuff being a woman.<br />
8. For family. They drive me CRAZY I tell you. But I love them so much. I would do anything for them, even take a bullet. I'm so glad I get to see them on a regular basis now. That completely rocks.<br />
9. For friends. I seriously have the best friends in the world. They live all over the state of GA and throughout the South. Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, even have some peeps I made through Tim that live up North! We would have never made it the first year with out such a huge support system outside my family. These are the people I can tell them about how I really am feeling that day, and they still love me. I've cried in front of all of them, and they just hug me, and we have laughed, danced, some even fought and made-up. You guys are amazing, I miss all of you to the bottom of my heart. I ask God on a regular daily basis if we can all live on same street in Heaven.<br />
10. For income. I think I would have taken that for granted about four years ago. But I do not anymore. Every time I have gone to tithe since we've been married, I thank God for an income to which we can give God back a tithe check, that's awesome.<br />
11. Our house. We may not own it, but I still LOVE it! Tim and I have been fortunate to rent from some amazing landlords for our past two houses. God has blessed us through their stewardship of the properties we have lived in. But mostly oh so grateful to live in a house, period.<br />
12. Our cars. Seems so dumb too, but once again, in this day in age, people are not being able to afford them. I am SO grateful we can.<br />
13. The health of my family. I hear of these things that happen to people's husbands and children. Health is something that is never promised to us. So, for now, for this blog, I can say that both of my beloved ones are healthy. I must remember to be grateful right at this moment, just in case this past sentence changes in the future.<br />
14. For the fall. Because I love it. It's so pretty with it's changing leaves and nice cool breezes.<br />
15. The mountains. Especially this time of year!<br />
16. For my education. I would not be able to pen my thoughts of thankfulness without being taught all the basics. I'm grateful for all my teachers throughout the years (my mom included) who have educated me.<br />
17. For my grandparents. Grandparents are just cool people. I have two grandfathers who are now in Heaven (I assume sitting on a bench waiting for all of us to join them:)). There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could get a hug from granddaddy Roy one more time, or hear a WWII story from my granddaddy Frank. I do still have my Dot Dot and Mema, and they are pretty awesome. If you still have all your grandparents, give them a hug this Thanksgiving and let them know you are thankful for them.<br />
18. For church on Sunday. Because Lord knows I need it! Seriously.<br />
19. For The Bible. How have I not mentioned this earlier??? God's Word is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I'm so thankful that in times of uncertainty, that when the culture changes, the Rock at which I base my life on does not. His teachings are true and set me free.<br />
20. For fireplaces. Because I finally live in a place that requires one during the winter. I'll never forget one rainy cold day in highschool, I told my mom it was "that time of the month" and I didn't feel good, and to please let me stay home. She knew good and well that is was not that time of the month, and that I NEVER had cramps of any sort. She let me stay home anyway, and I put on PJ's and curled up by the fire. Looking forward to more days like that.<br />
21. For country music. Where was Taylor Swift when I was in middle school/ high school?!? I love singing songs about slow dances, first loves, and getting into trouble. Totally applicable to that time of life. And then the songs about how the husbands find their wives so sexy... I need those songs now. This music just puts a smile on my face.<br />
22. Those times when you laugh so hard you can't breath. You become reeeeeaaaalll thankful you had those times in your life, when you are not certain you will have them again, for a long time. Here's to hoping for a future when you laugh so hard your sides split.<br />
23. For coffee. I need kurig, or something that will make me just 1 (one), cup of coffee in the morning. Because I need it with a one year old. Because my body does not work until 8. Thank you Lord, for coffee.<br />
24. For my fenced in back yard. Because now I don't have to have my cute, BIG four-legged friend Riley in the house, at all times, anymore. That is SO nice.<br />
25. For our church. Tim and I had a list of about ten churches to visit when moving to Peachtree City. While that task can be daunting, it is a nice problem to have. However, we walked in to the second church we visited and felt like home. We never visited the rest of the churches. We are joining this Sunday. I'm grateful God has lead us to such a beautiful body of believers (say that ten times fast!). Looking forward to seeing what he will be doing in the future.<br />
26. For Thanksgiving. I mean, a holiday based on getting together with those you love the most, EATING so much foooooooood, and reflecting on all the good things that God has done in your life. What could be better? (If you say Christmas, we <i>will</i> fight).<br />
27. For Love. For having found in not only in the love of my mother and father, but also in a husband who's daily sacrifices for our family do not go unnoticed, in the loving arms of friends who's shoulders I have cried on, who's necks I have hugged, in holding the most beautiful baby in the world she brings me to tears (honestly) if I hold or look at her too long, but mostly in experiencing it in the Love of Jesus Christ. His love makes me complete, not lacking anything, and I can be the person I am today, because He loved me first.<br />
28. For Hope. For when days seem too dark, and the future seems very bleak, there is always hope for a better day.<br />
29. For daily provision. Let's be honest, most of us have more than daily provision sitting in our pantries and refrigerators. The mere fact that people in this world don't should be cause for action. I am looking forward to helping those around us in this season.<br />
30. For Forgiveness. Because I mess up all the time. Because I am constantly doing something or saying something that is hurting someone's feelings (not on purpose), because I'm human, and I am never going to get it right, not once. Today, I pray that if I have hurt you for some reason, in anyway. I ask your forgiveness. I am not infallible, and I know that I don't do what I'm supposed to all the time. Please forgive me, and know that I love you and will try to be better in the future.<br />
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I'm thankful for you all...<br />
LAThe Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4713220866114116890.post-15182000994335269742012-09-28T19:13:00.000-07:002012-09-28T19:13:05.586-07:00September 29th, 2011I did not date this post wrong. This is the birthday of my first wonderfully beautiful child: Karis Laurie Harper. Oh man. What an incredible journey. I keep thinking about what I want to put on this post. What I want to tell you about her first year, about how she has changed, about how she has changed me. And I most certainly don't know where to begin. So, maybe I'll start from the beginning.<br />
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Karis was a beautiful newborn. I'm not lying, she was gorgeous. The first hour of her life her eyes were WIDE open. I'll never forget how she looked, starring up in awe as my mom and dad held her for the first time. She was completely freaked out, but totally there. Just looking, watching, taking it all in. And being totally gorgeous too. She was not necessarily easy as a newborn. She wasn't awful, no colic, or crazy diseases or sicknesses, thank the Lord. But not a chill baby by any means. She cried a lot due to gas, and unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I could not breast feed her longer than three months. So... formula was fun. The child did inherit a sensitive stomach from both me and her father, she was doomed in that department. So, while I could not blame her for being fussy with the gas issues, there were other mountains, I did not like climbing.<br />
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I discovered my child's will to be stubborn the first day she had to be stretched to go on a schedule. She was doing this awful thing were she started snacking every hour, and after a hard "come to Jesus" talk with my sister, we decided she needed to go on a schedule, 4oz, every four hours. Oh. My. Goodness. You would think that I has made the decision to be the cruelest person that ever existed the way Karis cried. She really gave it to me. And then, I loved when people visited, and they thought I was being over dramatic, and then they heard the wonderful sounds that came out of her wonderful mouth. Yeah, that was pretty hard. It took her about a week or two to get on board with the new schedule, but the scarring of hearing her scream for that week, will probably last me a lifetime.<br />
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But she grew out of it, we got the formula issues down, and then one day, I just keep receiving compliments on what a happy, cute baby she was. And she is! She smiles, looks people square in the eye, and laughs. She makes noises and wiggles, just to get people's attention. At playgrounds, she loves going up to all the kids and making friends. Just an amazingly social, happy baby, and I could not be more blessed.<br />
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I am in constant awe of Karis. All the time. I love looking at her think. You want to know what I do some days? I just watch her. She is always thinking, turning things over in her mind...plotting, really. One day we had our storm door open, and it looked like she could get out of the house, and she crawled as fast as she could for the door. She wanted out! And that is when I realized that my child will not be a homebody. At 11 mo's I know, she will not stay any longer than she can. She was born with wings, oh goodness I love watching her. Everyday, she amazes me. The mere fact that one year ago, she couldn't even hold her head up, and she is now the fasted crawler in the Harper family, "talking" up a storm, and will be walking (or maybe running:)) around any day now. She has done more learning and growing in this first year, than I believe I have done in the past five! And no one has taught her how to do any of it, babies just do it themselves! Crazy.<br />
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She has changed me so completely. I think about her non-stop. When she cries, my heart breaks. Today, I found myself just watching her walk around the house with her "walker" (some device that she uses to assist her at this time). I love to study her face, today she looked just like Tim when she had this supreme moment of concentration trying to do something, and she would not be deterred until she accomplished it. She amazes me, and inspires me. She reminds me so much of God. Not only is her name a sweet prayer on my lips to God for her every time I say it, but it also reminds me of how much I need Him in so many ways in my life, and my desperate need for His Grace. (Her name Karis, is really Charis, the Greek word in the Bible for Grace). Also, God gently speaks to me all the time about His perspective. When I am lost in wonder at my little child, learning from me, growing, listening to me, I get a Holy Spirit nudge. It's like He's saying, "Remember all those times you wondered how I could forgive you? And then, while you do get angry with Karis, you're heart always melts for her, and you continually love her, and you can't even stop it. You're just a human and you can do that, I am God, and I can do it even better. Please stop wondering why I can forgive you a thousand times. I gave in wonder at you too!" God makes me cry when I think about how much I love Karis, and how much He loves me more.<br />
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Yes, Karis has changed our lives. I don't want to speak for Tim. I would love to hear what he has thought about this past year. But I'll tell you what I think. Wow. I seriously love my life with Karis. She brings so much joy and laughter to our family. Confession: I like to take her out to places (especially places where I know older people will be, like Aldi) so I can hear and see people dote on her. I love her smile. I love the way she looks at me when I come into a room and I've been gone. And yes, I love that she likes being with me over you when I'm in the room. It does get old when I want to talk, but yes, I love the Karis prefers me, her mother. She's a little too clingy right now, but I'm going to chalk that us to a phase (hopefully). I can't see it lasting past her preteen years, anyway;).<br />
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I must admit, the last literal moment before Karis came into the world, my last thought as a "mom-to-be" was. I'm not ready to be a mom. I'm not a big kid person, no one really called me back on a regular basis to babysit, and I'm don't blame them. I don't know what to do with kids, babies too. I didn't know if I could be the person that Karis needed. I hope she never catches on. I hope she always knows that although I was 100% not ready for her at all, I'm so glad she's here in spite of me. Grace. Karis.<br />
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I'm celebrating tomorrow, all day. Really, Birthday's truly are for the mothers. I'll relive my glorious child and her coming into this world and making my heart fill with a love that I had never felt before her. I'll watch her be her cute self, and reminisce about my tiny angel, and yet be SO thankful she is NOT a newborn. And worship Jesus, the giver of all good things, the Giver of my Karis.<br />
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Happy Birthday Karis Laurie Harper. While you will be receiving presents on this day from now on, I'll be the one the receives the present of you, everyday.<br />
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<br />The Harpershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03266018828102519617noreply@blogger.com0