(Life) Lessons Learned

I got to take a long walk today. I live across the street from this amazingly beautiful natural lake, but you can't walk all the way around it, but the short section of our street that is by it, I save it for last. Its a reward for walking as much as I do, because when you round the bend and get a hit of the cool breeze blowing off the lake, and you get to gaze upon this gorgeous lake, you would understand why I save it for last... So I love my long walks because I get to do a lot of thinking and talking to God, and just pondering. And the things I pondered I thought I would tell you about. Things that I am learning. In life. And what to do with these things? Application is the key to all knowledge, it's Wisdom. So, here are some things that this Christian, mother-to-be, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and human is learning: (And in keeping with the Rule of Threes, or any good Baptist sermon, I have three main bullets, so I promise it won't be too long:))

1. Gratitude
My sister gave me a book about gratitude. I love it, unfortunately, I can't read it anymore (don't worry Jenn, I will pick it up again:)) because I feel so convicted about my ingratitude. Gratitude is a beautiful gift God gives us. It helps us to focus on the Lord and His Grace and Love, it prompts us to Thanksgiving, and it is fundamental to the Christian walk. Gratitude is the first thing we try to teach our children. It's not just about manners (although, being polite is apart of good character, I think...) It's about helping the children recognize that when they are given a gift, to acknowledge that Gift, and the Giver. If we were to do a pie graph of my prayers and make a slice for my portion that are prayers of Thanksgiving to God, and the portion that are requests to God, well, you would think that I missed out on my lesson of Gratitude. I get SO stressed out in my life focusing on things that I do not have or things I want, I very rarely look around at all that I am blessed with and just breath in and breath out a sigh of Thanksgiving and Praise. But I can tell you, that when I do, when I focus on the God of all creation and His many good and perfect gifts... I am in perfect peace. Mainly because I know at that moment, I am aligning myself with the Will of God, and that is to bring Him Glory and Praise... and it feels so good.
My application: As I round my final curve of my walk and see the Glorious lake singing the praises of the Most High. I join with it for a couple of moments... in perfect peace, being the creation I was meant to be.... Until my dog starts pulling at my leash, which leads me to my next point...

2. Trade-offs
What is a trade-off? If you paid attention in government class when you were in high school, you would have learned that, government happens because people are willing to "trade off" a certain amount of freedom to the government so that the government, in return will protect the people. What?... Sorry, ok, for every decision that we make in life, we give up or post-pone certain things to attain another. For instance, I married my wonderful husband at a fairly young age. Because I did, I guess you could say I "gave up" or "delayed" certain things that I would like to do in life. I won't be visiting Europe anytime soon, I can't do as many "girls night outs" as I used to, I mean, I gave up my freedom as a single person very early. But!!! I gained a partner, husband, (lover...) someone that when I do get to do fun things, I can spend that time with HIM!! Which, when I do get to do fun things, I feel twice as fulfilled. Riley would be my next example, about two years ago, I was lonely at home and wanted a playmate (or a baby, either would do...) and so we went out and adopted Riley! I love my puppy, but getting a puppy means I am vacuuming hair balls, making sure he is exercised, spending money on dog food, and we can't just hop in the car for trips anymore, cause we have to think about the poor puppy spending the day in his pin... We gained so much in such a cute dog, but we also gave up some freedoms as well. So what do I learn from trade-offs??
(Application) Contentment. Being grateful for the things that I gain in my decisions, and focusing on how those things affect my life for the better, rather than focusing on the things that I gave up. What good would it be for me to try to think about my life, if only I had not taken out college loans? Well, I didn't, so let me focus on how those college loans were a way (I would suggest, though, finding another way to fund your education:)) to get a college education so that I could have worked the job that I did for two years which blessed me tremendously. Being content here in Orlando, instead of closing my heart to the good things that are here to offer...When I am content I let go of control... which leads me to my final lesson...

2. I am a CONTROL FREAK...
We probably all are in some way, but I am a huge one. Worse, I am a subtle control freak (otherwise known as a manipulator). It is awful. If you would let me, I would tell you what to wear (Bright colors, fun skirts and dresses, but keep it classy) I would tell you what shoes to wear (high heals). I would tell you where to live (next to me). I would tell you how to decorate your house (color! lots of it!). Probably the only thing I would not tell you what do to is how to cut your hair, cause I still can't figure out how mine should be cut, but give me some time and a celebrity magazine and I will find a haircut you should have...seriously its bad. I think I mean well, but I don't think you should be married to me. And poor husband, he is! He has had to deal with me for 5 years now (for those trying to do the math, I am counting when we first started dating, because yes, I started on Tim then...) I have been hinting, poking, prodding, "suggesting" that my poor man wear this, say that, do this, buy that, go here... I mean, I was just sitting on the airplane this morning almost in tears thinking about how much stress this man deals with, and then he has to come home with ME trying to have my way with him ALL THE TIME... I mean, I have good intentions, but you know what they say about those... And then, I worry. All the time. Do you know what I worry about? Everything that I cannot control. That makes up 99.9% of my life. Cause if you think about it, I can't even control if my hair stays in my head, that falls out whether or not I want it to! I can't even control the beautiful life that is growing inside of me! This child has done and will do as God pleases it, since conception, even I have no control over the very conception of my child!! (its not really my child either, this is God's child, that He has so graciously let me carry for now, but that's another lesson, and I will get to that later, maybe...) I am not even sure if I have control over the words that I type... all is given and can be taken away from us in an instant. Don't believe me? Ask those living in Alabama, N. GA, Tennessee and elsewhere in the country. Ask Japan. Ask Haiti. They don't even have control over the very piece of dirt their feet stand on. And yet, I choose to believe I have some say in something...What do I do???
Application: I was once told that recognizing you have a problem is the first step in recovery. I am a recovering control freak, and just like an alcoholic is always recovering from alcoholism (its a true fact, I double checked with AA) I probably will always be tempted to take control of my life (is that really possible?) and run with it. Today I prayed that God would move the knowledge that He is our sole Provider from my head to my heart, and that knowledge that He is good and Loves me will move from my head to my heart. Every time I start to worry about things, I pray that. And to show you how bad I am, I prayed that like almost 10 times in just my 1hr long walk. I'll probably have to pray it a lot tomorrow, and throughout my life. Maybe that is why the Bible says to Pray without ceasing. I guess that's what it means for me...

So, in closing, Expressing my Gratitude, Focusing on contentment and the good results of my decisions, and Praying without ceasing. I feel like those are a lot to learn and I have so many other things I need to learn before my beautiful child takes his/her first breath. Practice makes perfect, and I look forward to more lessons...

LA