Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Present: Part 2

So, I'm not going to lie, that last post I did was literally inspired. I came home from my ladies Wed. night Bible study, and God had just blessed me so much, I really feel as if He pulled me to the computer and typed the last one. If you enjoyed it, I take no credit, you can thank Jesus for his love, really...

So what do you do when you cranked out a masterpiece that so many love and yo want to ride the success wave? You make a sequel.

Just kidding, I am not trying to do that, I just thought I would try to not be so vague and tell you where I am presently. So I'll be honest.

Presently, I am not doing so well as a person. I failed today at my job, by fail I mean: I fought with a 16 year old, and I forgot an appointment that I said I would cover for a co-worker... I'm not proud about this, and its not really funny, but its true. Tomorrow work does not look much more promising, but I cannot focus on that it is not the present.

Presently, I have not had my quiet time yet, I will do so tonight, and I wish I could wake-up in the morning and get a really good one in, but every time I wake-up at 7:00 (again) I feel like a failure, because to be honest I chose to sleep instead of hang out with Jesus (again).

Presently, I don't know how I'm doing as a wife, a friend, or a follower of Christ. I can't really honestly say I tried to do well at any of those.

My prayer is that I will make an honest attempt at being better at D. all of the above. Presently. And not wait for tomorrow, but to actively trust God and draw close to Him better presently.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Present

There is a saying that I have heard for a long time that goes something like, "Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present." It is a very cute saying, just something to remember and reinforce what God wants us to practice in our life, to just live and breathe Him, presently and today. To depend on Him moment by moment to make it through the day. Jesus spoke in the Bible about letting tomorrow worry about itself as tomorrow has its own troubles. We learn "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path." Prov. 3:5-6. This is one of the first verses I learned after John 3:16. These lessons, to constantly lean on the Lord and live in the present have been taught to me since I was a young girl...

But what if the present is painful to live in?

What if the job we get up to go to everyday drains our every energy? What if you are taking care of someone who you love who is dying? What if you have lost your job and are continually looking for one? What if the person you gave your life to walked away from you? What if you have children that are making choices you do not agree with? What if you want something to happen so bad, (meeting "that person", marriage, baby, job promotion, healing, etc...) and you cry and beg for God to work in that area, and it does not happen?

I am constantly confronted with the truth as I am doing my devotional every morning. God's desire is for us to literally draw close to Him. To run to His arms, and hide in his shadow. How many psalms are of David crying out to God and stating that he will rest in the shadow of God's wings as He is running for his life from king Saul? I'm sure David was wondering what was going on, God had told David he would be the future king of Israel, and here David was hiding in caves. I'm sure he was mighty frustrated...

But here is the deal, if I look to the future and live in the future, what happens to my present? What happens to my gift of life? I only am living in a state of "If only..." The present can be painful. We all go through tough times. Some people's "presents" seem tougher than others, but pain feels the same to all. So I choose to live in the present, even if the future seems so tempting to dream about. Miracles happen in the present, God works right now. Just like the cross. Jesus died on the cross, but the story does not stop there. He is alive today, and redeems us, even in this moment.

Even though my life may not be where I want it right now, it is my present. I have been given the gift of learning to draw close to God in my present. If I try to weather my condition by myself, the pain is too much of a burden to bear.

Lord, I beg of you to draw me close and keep me in Your company. My present is the opportunity to choose to draw close to you, even when I do not understand why things should not just go how I want them to. Keep me company in my present, Your presence is true Peace.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Spring N Things

Cute title right?? So, just to let you know, I did get a new dress for Easter. I just got it back in the fall last year, and my mom did by it for me, it was on clearance... But it still counts as new cause I didn't wear it until Easter!

Tim's birthday was on April 11th. Tim is an amazing husband and words do not express how grateful I am for Tim's life. So what did we do to celebrate? We went to a place that served a lot of meat. Seriously. It's a restaurant named Texas De Brazil. Behold to photo documentation of the Event.

So my blogger is being weird and I can't see the pictures I am trying to post. But needless to say it was a fun night. Followed by a day at the beach, no pictures were taken because we were pale, and I was wearing a bathing suite for the first time. Yep, no pictures were taken of us (me) at this time. Maybe next beach visit!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Meditation on Easter: Day 4

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?

2 O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent.

3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Israel. a]">[a]

4 In you our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.

5 They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

6 But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by men and despised by the people.

7 All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads:

8 "He trusts in the LORD;
let the LORD rescue him.
Let him deliver him,
since he delights in him."

9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you
even at my mother's breast.

10 From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother's womb you have been my God.

11 Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help.

12 Many bulls surround me;
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

13 Roaring lions tearing their prey
open their mouths wide against me.

14 I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me.

15 My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me b]">[b] in the dust of death.

16 Dogs have surrounded me;
a band of evil men has encircled me,
they have pierced c]">[c] my hands and my feet.

17 I can count all my bones;
people stare and gloat over me.

18 They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.

19 But you, O LORD, be not far off;
O my Strength, come quickly to help me.

20 Deliver my life from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.

21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save d]">[d] me from the horns of the wild oxen.

22 I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the congregation I will praise you.

23 You who fear the LORD, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!

24 For he has not despised or disdained
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.

25 From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
before those who fear you e]">[e] will I fulfill my vows.

26 The poor will eat and be satisfied;
they who seek the LORD will praise him—
may your hearts live forever!

27 All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him,

28 for dominion belongs to the LORD
and he rules over the nations.

29 All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
those who cannot keep themselves alive.

30 Posterity will serve him;
future generations will be told about the Lord.

31 They will proclaim his righteousness
to a people yet unborn—
for he has done it.

I will never forget, when I was in middle school and I was starting my journey of studying the bible through quiet times in the morning, and I read this chapter in Psalms. Immediately, I recognized this as a narative of Christ on the cross. How could it not? Christ recited the first line as he hung on the cross. His heart literally melted inside of him, he could count his bones, all of his joints were out of place (that is how you die on the cross), men were gambling for his garments... So many details in this Psalm make up the Passion of Christ... Funny though, this Psalm was written more than 500 years before Christ was even born. Hmm... I wonder what the likelihood of just one of these details to match Christ's death, but several of them? I will not deny God his glory and omnipotence, the rocks will not have to cry out for me.

As a lasting thought, as you read the psalm or the passion story, I personally watched the Passion of Christ (yes, the one directed by Mel Gibson, let's just say God did not let Mr. Gibson get in the way of HIS story, thankfully!) and it is brutal, it is not accurate in the fact that you could still recognize Jesus even after his beating. This death was not an easy or painless death, Jesus did not get to take a Valium and sleep walk through it, He even denied himself alcohol on the cross because he wanted to experience ALL of the pain. I don't want to preach, or make recommendations for your spiritual life. I watched the movie once, and that reminder, that picture of the true death Christ experienced, it made me not want to take advantage of Grace and cheapen it. What God went through in order for Salvation to come to the world, and ultimately let His Glory be made known to the world is horrifyingly incredible.

Thank you Jesus for Your Salvation, thank you for the suffering and tribulation that you went through, so that we may experience priceless, wondering Amazing Grace. May we never cheapen your gift by living how we want and not relying on You for all things.