Sunday, June 22, 2014

Who I am currently, at 29.

On the eve of my 29th birthday, I wanted to document who I am  right this minute, what I've learned, and have come to grips with, probably after wrestling with is for some years. Hopefully, I can continue to do this every year, to have a good look back.

- While I have finally learned how to correctly apply make-up, I hate putting it on, I only wear the full mask for special occasions

- Currently, I hate styling my hair. About a month ago, I chopped it off, and found a nice gel for people with curly/wavy hair. Thank you Aveda.

-I still love to dress up. Love it.

- There are two types of shoes in my closet, and in my opinion, there should only be two types of shoes: Stilettos and flats. HATE kitten heals.

- Black, White, and Gray. I am trying desperately to get my wardrobe to those three colors. They make me happy and feel sophisticated all the time.

- I believe more and more in spiritual warfare than I did a year ago.

-I believe less and less in coincidence. More like divine interactions.

- It drive people crazy I guess sometimes, but if it's something I have no way of changing, I've stopped wasting my efforts and worry on it. I try to focus my life on things I can affect.

- I literally just learned how to really forgive. Not just like "oh I forgive them" then spend years being bitter towards someone and still bad talking them. Like real unadulterated forgiveness. It's pretty awesome, but hard.

- I've learned how to apologize correctly, sincerely, acknowledging the thing I did wrong, looking someone in the eye and asking their forgiveness. Humbling, but freeing.

- I'm trying to live out Proverbs 15:1, I'll tell you how it's been going next year!

- I love a good party, but what's really nice is then being quiet for the next 48-72hrs. Gotta love being an introvert!

- Me and Tim are the definition of opposites attract. Wouldn't have it any other way, but man, It's been a journey learning how to spread Grace over all our differences!

- Their names are Karis and Autumn, they light up my life, I can't wait to see how stinkin awesome they are going to be as adults. They are going to do some pretty awesome stuff, cause they have already rocked my world in the short amount of time they've been on this Earth!

- I'm not so much into finding happiness these days, but delving in to the deep waters of Joy in all circumstances. It's hard.

- I've never researched a topic more than trying to figure out how to get the post-baby fat off my hips.

- I love helping, being a good supporting role, however I can be for you.

I love you guys lots, hope this was revealing and entertaining for you!!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Musings of a Stay-at-home-mom: Slowly, all of a Sudden

It hit me today. As I'm holding my oldest, her being semi-asleep as I carry her to her room, she's a lot bigger than I thought. Still bird-boned (that is an accurate description of her bones) still eats about a tablespoon of food to survive (I offer her much more than that, promise), but there she is, although the 18 mo size of her dress fits perfectly, she's getting too tall for it, thank goodness for bloomers. She's just, big.

She runs with expert grace around the playground, faster than some of the boys that are her size or bigger. Climbing up ladders and other playground things that children her age are just trying out. If she was tall enough and her arms could stretch, I bet she'd venture the monkey bars...

As I was taking her inside today, my mind flashed forward to a time when we're coming home from a gymnastics meet, cheerleading competition, (soccer game?), and she's tired and needs to take a nap. I cry just thinking about the child unbuckling herself and taking herself to her own bed.

I'd like to tell you these are tears of happiness that I'm crying. But they aren't. It makes me so sad to think that one day I won't be able to carry my bird-boned baby to bed. And don't get me started on the other one, I'm going to wake up and she's going to be a toddler, and you're going to get another sob-post from me...

I'm terrible at savoring moments. I am guilty of can't-wait-for-this-stage-to-pass-osis. But, not last night, as I laid both of my babies down to bed. Not this morning, as I carried both of their fragile self's down for nap time. Today I'm drinking it in. And it proves to be a sweet, but very heavy drink.

Drink it in y'all...