Thursday, June 20, 2013

I am a Child

So, this might not be very long or deep, but it's what's on my heart now. And since I rarely have time or motivation to write about all the fun, silly, possibly deep and thoughtful feelings I have, I'm taking this time to run with it. One of my friends posted a link to a tumblr blog on reasons why their son is crying. I laughed SO hard at this. The child who cries because they want more cinnamon roll when they have a whole plate in front of them. Or the one that cries because you won't walk on them as a human bridge. And it makes me think of Karis. As she is rapidly approaching two, and since she still amazingly and stubbornly refuses to verbalize a sentence, we are having all kinds of crying fits over things that are so simple. She cries when I leave the room, instead of just asking where I am. (Mind you, she knows what "mommy's room", "kitchen", "Karis' room", and "garage" mean, she just would rather cry out instead of look to find me). She cries when I don't get her what she wants when she wants it NOW. She cries if she does not understand what I'm doing, when what I'm doing is what she wants, it's just a process. And the more she cries, the more I fall in love with her, cause the more she puts me in my place when it comes to God.

I am that child.

On a daily basis it's like, "Why haven't you done what I want you to do God!?" "Where are you and why aren't you coming to meet me where I want you!?" "I said I wanted _______ NOW!" "Fix him/her/ ALL OF THEM!" "Why won't you just give me what I pray fooooooooorrrrrrr!? (extra whiny voice).

Tears, yelling, definitely pouting, and then when I'm really tired of looking up at the sky, I just, you know, give God the cold shoulder. Right? I mean, totally giving God the cold shoulder helps me in MY life, and makes what I want come to fruition. Correct? No. I will say it again, just so you know that I know my heart needs a serious transplant. NO. Do you know that the last part of the love chapter in I Cor. 13 states, "When I was a child, I thought like a child, I acted like a child, I spoke like a child, when I became a man, I put away my childish ways." I did not copy that word for word from the Bible, that is my paraphrase. And would you believe it, this verse has been one that has been echoing in recesses of my mind, whispered in my ear by my Heavenly Father for quite some time now. 

Maybe I should start a tumblr on reasons why I am crying?

I hope you don't think I'm like walking around all the time whining like a child. I don't do it in the day hours, I promise. Thank you for loving me right where I am y'all!

Love you lots,