Yes, I promise you. I do have lots of thoughts. I think about blogging all the time. I think about telling you about hormones, my hormones, and how they lie. LIE! to you. Really they do. I think about telling you about my weight loss and what I've done and how I've killed myself, but I'm not posting pics yet, cause I'm not done yet! And there is the post that is coming explaining why on this wonderful, God-created Earth we named Karis, Karis. And how I "invented" the spelling of her name. But that is all in due time. It really is. Every day there is something new I think about to tell you. I think a lot about my marriage, and how we've changed, and yet, how we've stayed exactly the same (no, I'm not trying to confuse you!) I have SO many new pregnant friends, I want to tell you about all the hopes and fears and revelations I had with my first pregnancy. I want my new-pregnant friends to know you are not alone in the ups and downs. I want to put my crazy out there for you, so that you can look in the mirror in the down times and go, "At least I am not LaurieAnn crazy... that girl needs help!" I do. But I don't want to put myself out there right now. I am such an open book kind of person, its even weird for me to say that. Maybe its because I'm vain, insecure, and selfish and I need you to need me to do it. Or maybe, just maybe, because it's not the right time for all of that. For right now, I just want to talk to you about one thing:
I have a daughter.
Yeah, and I don't just have a girl. I have one of those girls who stares long and often at boys. She looks for new people to smile at. She's social. I mean, I don't want to say my parents got off easy, I definitely gave them a run for their money a couple of times in my life. But I will say, I was/am not social. I didn't to highschool parties, cause I wasn't invited. I wasn't popular. No boys were lined up to date me. My dad didn't have to come to the door too many times to flex his muscles to scare off boys. I did that myself. By not being able to talk appropriately in social situations... almost ever. And I was like that as a baby. I know it's true, because unfortunately, I saw the footage that proves from a young age, I didn't like to talk.
She smiles, she flirts, she LOOKS for new people to catch there eye, and when she does she sticks out her tongue or laughs, give HUGE grins. All in the name of making sure that they know that she is stinkin cute. I have no magic ball, nor any expertise in any field to say I can predict what she is going to be like as a teenager. All I can say is, if right now she is lovin attention, and all she does her entire life is build on this... Oh dear... Ohhhhhhhhhh dear!!!!!
I pray a lot for Karis. I mean, I'm not sending up arrow prayers... Arrow prayers are good, but sometimes, arrows don't always succeed in what they are intended to do. I am sending up javelin like prayers. I'm talking about Roman soldier-trained javelin prayers intended on accurately and efficiently completing their tasks. Cause right now, I feel that the only hope I have in raising a daughter who loves people, and loves to make people happy, is to know that Christ is going to take that natural ability she has and transform it into something AMAZING that He can use to glorify Himself and make Himself known to the nations. That's the only prayer I have. That this beautiful, sweet, smart, and OH SO SOCIAL child will love Jesus more than anything in the world and she will love people closer to Christ. Good plan? I'll get back to you in 18-20 years to tell you how its gone...