I went for a walk...

I wanted to write this blog while it was fresh... I feel that the emotion is raw and that it is just very real of what is all going through my mind right now... To preface, I'm coming off of a spectacular, crazy busy, and unbelievable weekend. I mean, we celebrated two babies with showers, in two days... c'mon, nuff said, right? But this morning, as I woke up very early to use the restroom for what seemed like the millionth time, I glanced over and saw my wonderful mother reading her Bible, and I looked outside and saw what kind of a morning it was, and God gently spoke and said, "I think it would be a good time for one of Our walks today, don't you think?" The invitation out there, I was not going to let that go, no matter how my flesh wanted to go to the computer and check facebook...

So, I scarfed down some cereal, talked with mom for a sec, made sure Tim knew I was going for a walk, got my cute little dachshund all excited as I slipped on her leash, and then we were out the door, cankles and all...

And I have to tell you, I cried. For a brief second if I closed my eyes as I was walking along my parent's neighborhood, I could pretend, that this little cute thing I'm walking was my dog, and this beautiful older, shady (as in lots of beautiful old trees, providing shade, not that bad type of shady...) neighborhood with is soft grasses and big lawns, was my neighborhood. You could let the cool mountain breeze blow over you and just ingest all the goodness. The faces of my beautiful family flashed before me and the faces of their children. The faces of the children yet to come... My friends, I'm not Miss Popular back here by any means, but the friends that I have here make me smile so much. And there is so much history together, makes me happy.

Please don't get me wrong. The second I found out that I was going to live in Florida, I was excited. I was engaged to Tim and while it was devastating to find out that I was not going to be engaged to my fiance in the same state, I was so excited about living in a new place for our newlywed stage. Marriage is SO hard sometimes, and all the times lots of work, and to be able to discover a new city together, I felt like a frontiers-woman. It was just me and Tim and we were going to make it together. And I still feel like that in Florida. Orlando was not a place I was horrified to end up at, I was thrilled and excited!

But when you come home... My heart longs to have my child be close to his/her cousins geographically speaking, to visit friends often, to go to Athens in the fall and see UGA games, to hike mountain trails in Dahlonega...Who would have thought that while I was riding the backroads of my life with the top down listening to country music, I was actually falling in love with this place?

And once again, do not get me wrong... I live in a beautiful neighborhood, or at least the closest thing I was felt to a neighborhood in Florida, I have a wonderful cute home that I just love, we have an amazing church, with an amazing LigeGroup, and wonderful friends who do not think twice about praying for us and helping us out in an instant, they are our family, and I depend on them for support probably much more than they think.

So, how do I reconcile my feelings? I wonder this right now... How does my heart long to walk in an old shady neighborhood, and yet feel the love and excitement of meeting new people and ministries in our current situation. I guess that's why I cried, I'm just torn right now. I may not be tomorrow, I'll probably be fine in an hour or so. Just know, if you ever feel this way when you go home to visit that its not unusual, its so normal. I don't know many stories in the Bible of people felt torn in this way, so I guess I'll have to go back to the Bible to reconcile these feelings, and as this always works, focus my life around God my Father and follow His Will. It really was a good walk, full of good things... And I'll leave you with my final thought that God spoke to me:

LaurieAnn, I lead you to Orlando, and I give you All good things... Therefore, Orlando is good and it accomplishes my Work...

Yes, Lord, as always, You are Right...