No, I didn't misspell the title. I don't do resolutions. I did one a couple of years ago, posted it on the blog, and I'm pretty sure failed at all of the resolutions, and that failure stuck with me the whole year. Nope, I'm done setting myself up for failure. I would rather challenge myself with success. So, I revolt.
Against myself.
This year, I want stop being the person that has been so negative, tired, and can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who's dreams are on the horizon, you know, the fictitious line in the distance that can never be reached. I want to revolt against all of that.
This year, I want to be happy, to feel hope and relish the Sun, even when I can't see it. I want to cherish my dreams, but instead of focusing on them and bemoaning my present life, I want to hand those dreams over to God, for safe keeping, and find so much contentment in my present.
To look into both of my daughter's eyes daily and be blessed by them, instead of focusing on all the things I have to teach them and worry. Autumn will sit up on her own one day, and then one day she will crawl, and then she will walk. It will happen, stop trying to get her to a year before it's time. The first year really is so hard.
I want to stop worrying about Karis' speech and potty training. I still have no idea how I'm going to get her potty trained, but I'm so tired of being defeated by that. I will potty train her, I don't care if she goes to the bathroom all over our house, it's going to get done, and I just need to stop worrying about that.
A revolution is so many things. It's the earth's rotation around the sun. It's when a people over-throw their current government. My favorite definition of revolution: sudden, radical, or complete change. Whatever kind of revolution you think of, the one thing that stays the same in all circumstances is, you always change.
Here's to my New Year's revolution. Wonder where I'll be in a year?
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Thursday, June 20, 2013
I am a Child
So, this might not be very long or deep, but it's what's on my heart now. And since I rarely have time or motivation to write about all the fun, silly, possibly deep and thoughtful feelings I have, I'm taking this time to run with it. One of my friends posted a link to a tumblr blog on reasons why their son is crying. I laughed SO hard at this. The child who cries because they want more cinnamon roll when they have a whole plate in front of them. Or the one that cries because you won't walk on them as a human bridge. And it makes me think of Karis. As she is rapidly approaching two, and since she still amazingly and stubbornly refuses to verbalize a sentence, we are having all kinds of crying fits over things that are so simple. She cries when I leave the room, instead of just asking where I am. (Mind you, she knows what "mommy's room", "kitchen", "Karis' room", and "garage" mean, she just would rather cry out instead of look to find me). She cries when I don't get her what she wants when she wants it NOW. She cries if she does not understand what I'm doing, when what I'm doing is what she wants, it's just a process. And the more she cries, the more I fall in love with her, cause the more she puts me in my place when it comes to God.
I am that child.
On a daily basis it's like, "Why haven't you done what I want you to do God!?" "Where are you and why aren't you coming to meet me where I want you!?" "I said I wanted _______ NOW!" "Fix him/her/ ALL OF THEM!" "Why won't you just give me what I pray fooooooooorrrrrrr!? (extra whiny voice).
Tears, yelling, definitely pouting, and then when I'm really tired of looking up at the sky, I just, you know, give God the cold shoulder. Right? I mean, totally giving God the cold shoulder helps me in MY life, and makes what I want come to fruition. Correct? No. I will say it again, just so you know that I know my heart needs a serious transplant. NO. Do you know that the last part of the love chapter in I Cor. 13 states, "When I was a child, I thought like a child, I acted like a child, I spoke like a child, when I became a man, I put away my childish ways." I did not copy that word for word from the Bible, that is my paraphrase. And would you believe it, this verse has been one that has been echoing in recesses of my mind, whispered in my ear by my Heavenly Father for quite some time now.
Maybe I should start a tumblr on reasons why I am crying?
I hope you don't think I'm like walking around all the time whining like a child. I don't do it in the day hours, I promise. Thank you for loving me right where I am y'all!
Love you lots,
LA
Sunday, March 10, 2013
DNow
Our church just finished it's DNow weekend, and as I was trying to hurry Tim to the sanctuary because I knew there would be less seats, it never occurred to me that there are just as many kids out there who have no idea what DNow is as there are that do. He thought it was so strange that a bunch of highschoolers get together over a weekend to sleep in other people's home and then all go to church together on Sunday. I love having Tim in my life because he brings me out of my church bubble. I mean, we try to make a church bubble now for Karis, but there are definitely things that I accept growing up in the South, in a family that goes to church regularly, that is very involved with the church, that I just don't think about the other side of that. So I don't know if it's because it hit so close to home because Orlando had DNow, they just called it something different, or because our new church is a little smaller and I sat closer to the highschoolers, I just started thinking about all those great times growing up in church.
I don't think I've ever told anyone this, but on the last day of church camp my Senior year, I balled like a baby. Not because I'd necessarily miss that camp, or the people at the came. (Just to be clear, I do love me some Camp Cherokee, and I do love and miss my close high school friends). But I knew that never again would I be a camper at a camp. They have no church camps for college kids, singles, marrieds, or marrieds with children. The closest thing you get when you are older are retreats, and marriage retreats. All are nice, and seriously needed when you go on them. But none are church camp. A camp where you go for the week where activities are planned for you, meals are prepared with you in mind, speakers are flown in, bands play amazing music, and counselors are literally there to pray for you, talk to you, and teach you about Jesus and His Word. (Now that I think about it, really the closest thing to that is a marriage retreat, but I could never afford to go on one for a FULL week, like church camp, so I'm saying there really is nothing out there like that). No, it's like when you graduate high school, you are cut off from being a camper. No one sat down and told me that, we didn't have full conversations about the gravity of that situation, that I would never be a camper again. It just happened, and really in such a way because my last camp as a Senior was followed immediately by middle school camp where I was a counselor. Like, BOOM, transition, done. And then as I was mourning the loss of that part of my life, and just wishing, maybe for a second that I could be a camper again, God whispered this lovely verse into my head:
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man (or woman, to those who need that), I put childish ways behind me."
God reminded me that it's no longer that stage of my life anymore. That while being a camper, being ministered to was a sweet and special time in my life, I had to become the camp counselor because we can't drink spiritual milk forever. I have to digest the more hearty truths of the Word because I have others in my life I have to care for, because (and this is super hard to believe for me) others (somewhere out there, maybe...) are looking at me, at my life and thinking about whether or not I am a good example of someone they want to be like. That Karis does not need a camper for a mother, but a counselor. And I need to minister to her, and to others. I need to honor the time, efforts, prayers, and sacrifices of those who invested in me as a camper, in order that I may grow up to replace them or help them in this circle of ministry. Don't get me wrong, being a camper, is not being childish, it's just, I did think differently, as a camper, I was self-absorbed because when I needed to talk to someone, divulge my problems or fears, I expected someone to be there for me, asap. To listen, and care, and pray, and hug. That is the example that was set, so that I may grow, put the self-absorption behind me, and be there for others.
We've got a bit of a road ahead of us ladies and gentlemen, right? But then again, God also says this:
"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
God specifically did some things in my life within the past six months or so, namely moving me away from some very solid friends who where amazing Christian mentors to me, that had been my "camp counselors", and it has been an extremely hard process to move away from my camper mentality to the counselor mentality, but I'm convinced it was the right time, and God always knows what He is doing, and it is always good.
So, while moving was and is extremely painful, it has produced some small, steady growth in my heart, and I look forward to seeing where God leads in that. So, now I'll lead you with the last verse He just laid on my heart:
I don't think I've ever told anyone this, but on the last day of church camp my Senior year, I balled like a baby. Not because I'd necessarily miss that camp, or the people at the came. (Just to be clear, I do love me some Camp Cherokee, and I do love and miss my close high school friends). But I knew that never again would I be a camper at a camp. They have no church camps for college kids, singles, marrieds, or marrieds with children. The closest thing you get when you are older are retreats, and marriage retreats. All are nice, and seriously needed when you go on them. But none are church camp. A camp where you go for the week where activities are planned for you, meals are prepared with you in mind, speakers are flown in, bands play amazing music, and counselors are literally there to pray for you, talk to you, and teach you about Jesus and His Word. (Now that I think about it, really the closest thing to that is a marriage retreat, but I could never afford to go on one for a FULL week, like church camp, so I'm saying there really is nothing out there like that). No, it's like when you graduate high school, you are cut off from being a camper. No one sat down and told me that, we didn't have full conversations about the gravity of that situation, that I would never be a camper again. It just happened, and really in such a way because my last camp as a Senior was followed immediately by middle school camp where I was a counselor. Like, BOOM, transition, done. And then as I was mourning the loss of that part of my life, and just wishing, maybe for a second that I could be a camper again, God whispered this lovely verse into my head:
"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man (or woman, to those who need that), I put childish ways behind me."
God reminded me that it's no longer that stage of my life anymore. That while being a camper, being ministered to was a sweet and special time in my life, I had to become the camp counselor because we can't drink spiritual milk forever. I have to digest the more hearty truths of the Word because I have others in my life I have to care for, because (and this is super hard to believe for me) others (somewhere out there, maybe...) are looking at me, at my life and thinking about whether or not I am a good example of someone they want to be like. That Karis does not need a camper for a mother, but a counselor. And I need to minister to her, and to others. I need to honor the time, efforts, prayers, and sacrifices of those who invested in me as a camper, in order that I may grow up to replace them or help them in this circle of ministry. Don't get me wrong, being a camper, is not being childish, it's just, I did think differently, as a camper, I was self-absorbed because when I needed to talk to someone, divulge my problems or fears, I expected someone to be there for me, asap. To listen, and care, and pray, and hug. That is the example that was set, so that I may grow, put the self-absorption behind me, and be there for others.
We've got a bit of a road ahead of us ladies and gentlemen, right? But then again, God also says this:
"...being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
God specifically did some things in my life within the past six months or so, namely moving me away from some very solid friends who where amazing Christian mentors to me, that had been my "camp counselors", and it has been an extremely hard process to move away from my camper mentality to the counselor mentality, but I'm convinced it was the right time, and God always knows what He is doing, and it is always good.
So, while moving was and is extremely painful, it has produced some small, steady growth in my heart, and I look forward to seeing where God leads in that. So, now I'll lead you with the last verse He just laid on my heart:
"See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland."
Grateful that God is not content with leaving my heart a wasteland, I love you all,
LA
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Practicing Intervention
2013 is going to be such a fun year for a lot of people. Mainly because what feels like half of my friends had kids at the end of last year, or are having them at the beginning of this one. This means that they will experience the first year of parenting a child. And I have such sweet friends that ask for my advice. And on the inside all I'm thinking is, "Have you seen my life, my kid? Do you really think I've done anything right? Really? You're just being nice right now, it's sweet." But on the outside, I stammer something like, always make a decision you are comfortable with. I never give specific advice, for a specific reason: No human is specific. That's why when you go off to college and decide to major in something crazy stupid like, oh, Sociology (I did:)) and then people tell you, why don't you get a REAL major. It's because the Humanities aren't considered REAL science, because you can't put humans into an equation. Ever. Trust me, as a social worker for almost three years, and a mom for a little over a year now. Your little human you are growing, will never follow the same equation as any other human. That means that, according to the human population, there is over six billion ways to grow a human. At this point in time, I'm thinking high level calculus is easier than the human equation.
But ever the human race, we still try to quantify (or is is qualify?) ourselves into a neat package. Dr. Spock wrote a book in the 60's, a million people have been writing them since. We read Babywise or we take on philosophies of breast feeding until the child can talk, or have a family bed, or we do the exact opposite of all of that. All in the ever-present desire to grow a human the "right" way. You know, we want them to become smart, or to play an instrument well, or to impact the world for something! We don't want them to sit at home and waste their life. We want them to be happy and to reach their potential. And all of that energy boils down to whether or not we are going to breast feed them or not? Why yes, yes it does. Oh my gosh, is it any wonder why mom's are so stressed out these days about all these different things? Well, maybe I'll address more of that in another blog, but today, to answer my sweet friends who ask if I have any advice, I'll tell you the one thing I am trying to learn, and will probably be trying to learn everyday for the rest of Karis' life. You ready?
But ever the human race, we still try to quantify (or is is qualify?) ourselves into a neat package. Dr. Spock wrote a book in the 60's, a million people have been writing them since. We read Babywise or we take on philosophies of breast feeding until the child can talk, or have a family bed, or we do the exact opposite of all of that. All in the ever-present desire to grow a human the "right" way. You know, we want them to become smart, or to play an instrument well, or to impact the world for something! We don't want them to sit at home and waste their life. We want them to be happy and to reach their potential. And all of that energy boils down to whether or not we are going to breast feed them or not? Why yes, yes it does. Oh my gosh, is it any wonder why mom's are so stressed out these days about all these different things? Well, maybe I'll address more of that in another blog, but today, to answer my sweet friends who ask if I have any advice, I'll tell you the one thing I am trying to learn, and will probably be trying to learn everyday for the rest of Karis' life. You ready?
When should I step in and intervene?
I struggled with this when K was doing tummy time, then when she was learning to crawl, (I actually never intervened when she was learning to walk, because, to be honest, I did not want her to walk soon, but she took care of learning to walk all by herself, on her own... so...) when to intervene if she is learning a new thing, like climbing. Do I help her climb? Do I discourage her from climbing? When I know she's about to bust it trying to climb on the chair, do I let her bust it, or prevent an accident? There are pro's and con's for each argument. When do I step in my daughter's life and teach her? Do I do it before she is about to hurt herself, or after? When is she the most teachable? I honestly have struggled with this all the time. As a parent, I never want my daughter to feel pain, but sometimes if feels like she is bent on feeling it no matter how many warnings I give her. Do I step aside and watch in pain as she busts it for the 1000th time, or once again step in to prevent an accident and have her attempt to hurt herself again? Does this sound familiar to older mothers? I mean, am I not incorrect in saying that for the rest of my life I will be wondering "when should I step in on this?".
But I want to learn this early, she is not an equation. There is no exact same way I should step in all the time. I want to learn fast to lean into the Holy Spirit. To head the direction of the One who knows all. I think if I could practice this step early, in little things, in baby steps. Maybe, I'll won't be caught off guard when she's a pre-teen coming home from school with all kinds of new problems that I am just not ready to think about right now. I want to practice learning when intervention is best.
So, do I have any advice? Not really, the first year of parenting is so hard. Because you are learning when to practice intervention all the time. Whether is letting her cry it out at night, to going in and soothing her, all the way to when it's time to start baby food, and on up to where to go to college. We make what we feel are little decisions at the child's beginning, but what we don't realize is we are practicing for the big stage, when the decisions have a greater risk and reward. So, my advice is to practice now listening to God, and seeking His advice on the little things, and being at confidently at Peace with your decisions. Because I so agree with the scripture with the Lord says, "If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones." I 100% believe that verse applies not only to our gifts, but our parenting as well. I hope you have a wonderful year learning more about your beautiful babies and how to grow a human. Keep letting me know how it goes! Love you all.
LA
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Thankful
So, on facebook everyone is posting one thing they are thankful for each day of the month of November, leading up to Thanksgiving. It's awesome, it truly is. I'm just not doing it. I was talking to my friend the other day, and she was like, "I feel like if I start doing it now, I'm like jumping on a bandwagon." And I totally agreed with her. But I did think it was a good blog. So, instead of posting on facebook, I'm blogging about my thankfulness. Still probably jumping on the bandwagon, but what a good one to jump on!
1. Grace, that kind that was here at the creation of the world, but became known through Jesus Christ.
2. Salvation. Not the same as Grace, it's me confessing to you that I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and died to take the place of me for my punishment. And that by accepting His gift of Salvation, I am adopted in the family of Christ, and when I die, I will live with Him in Heaven for all eternity, as He has saved me from the absence of His presence.
3. My health. That encompasses everything about my body, to my absence of needing doctors in my life on a regular day basis.
4. For Tim. Because he's amazing and awesome and he helps out around the house and he loves Karis like whoah, because he is my sugar daddy, and doesn't mind, and he just is all this package of Mr. Fixit man who has a job and loves his family, and if any woman ever thinks she will get him... I will cut her. Jk, kind of.
5. For Karis. Because she lights up my life, every morning there is something new and different and she has more sass than I can handle, but she is beautiful. She steals my heart everyday, and I just don't mind. I have mommy love, and I will be ever in her debt for letting me experience that. Mommy love is amazing and awful all at the same time, but it's totally worth it.
6. For living in this country. I just got to vote, and I did not have to walk into a place with an armed soldier, I just voted. Like it was no big thing, except, it's kind of a huge thing. If you didn't vote, you should go live in China, and try to complain to someone about something the government does, and threaten their job. See if you don 't end up in jail, or dead. Now, if you can, do that in the US. You might get ignored, but at least you did not end up in jail or dead, that is pretty awesome.
7. For being a woman. It sounds so weird, but I get to experience some pretty cool stuff being a woman.
8. For family. They drive me CRAZY I tell you. But I love them so much. I would do anything for them, even take a bullet. I'm so glad I get to see them on a regular basis now. That completely rocks.
9. For friends. I seriously have the best friends in the world. They live all over the state of GA and throughout the South. Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, even have some peeps I made through Tim that live up North! We would have never made it the first year with out such a huge support system outside my family. These are the people I can tell them about how I really am feeling that day, and they still love me. I've cried in front of all of them, and they just hug me, and we have laughed, danced, some even fought and made-up. You guys are amazing, I miss all of you to the bottom of my heart. I ask God on a regular daily basis if we can all live on same street in Heaven.
10. For income. I think I would have taken that for granted about four years ago. But I do not anymore. Every time I have gone to tithe since we've been married, I thank God for an income to which we can give God back a tithe check, that's awesome.
11. Our house. We may not own it, but I still LOVE it! Tim and I have been fortunate to rent from some amazing landlords for our past two houses. God has blessed us through their stewardship of the properties we have lived in. But mostly oh so grateful to live in a house, period.
12. Our cars. Seems so dumb too, but once again, in this day in age, people are not being able to afford them. I am SO grateful we can.
13. The health of my family. I hear of these things that happen to people's husbands and children. Health is something that is never promised to us. So, for now, for this blog, I can say that both of my beloved ones are healthy. I must remember to be grateful right at this moment, just in case this past sentence changes in the future.
14. For the fall. Because I love it. It's so pretty with it's changing leaves and nice cool breezes.
15. The mountains. Especially this time of year!
16. For my education. I would not be able to pen my thoughts of thankfulness without being taught all the basics. I'm grateful for all my teachers throughout the years (my mom included) who have educated me.
17. For my grandparents. Grandparents are just cool people. I have two grandfathers who are now in Heaven (I assume sitting on a bench waiting for all of us to join them:)). There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could get a hug from granddaddy Roy one more time, or hear a WWII story from my granddaddy Frank. I do still have my Dot Dot and Mema, and they are pretty awesome. If you still have all your grandparents, give them a hug this Thanksgiving and let them know you are thankful for them.
18. For church on Sunday. Because Lord knows I need it! Seriously.
19. For The Bible. How have I not mentioned this earlier??? God's Word is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I'm so thankful that in times of uncertainty, that when the culture changes, the Rock at which I base my life on does not. His teachings are true and set me free.
20. For fireplaces. Because I finally live in a place that requires one during the winter. I'll never forget one rainy cold day in highschool, I told my mom it was "that time of the month" and I didn't feel good, and to please let me stay home. She knew good and well that is was not that time of the month, and that I NEVER had cramps of any sort. She let me stay home anyway, and I put on PJ's and curled up by the fire. Looking forward to more days like that.
21. For country music. Where was Taylor Swift when I was in middle school/ high school?!? I love singing songs about slow dances, first loves, and getting into trouble. Totally applicable to that time of life. And then the songs about how the husbands find their wives so sexy... I need those songs now. This music just puts a smile on my face.
22. Those times when you laugh so hard you can't breath. You become reeeeeaaaalll thankful you had those times in your life, when you are not certain you will have them again, for a long time. Here's to hoping for a future when you laugh so hard your sides split.
23. For coffee. I need kurig, or something that will make me just 1 (one), cup of coffee in the morning. Because I need it with a one year old. Because my body does not work until 8. Thank you Lord, for coffee.
24. For my fenced in back yard. Because now I don't have to have my cute, BIG four-legged friend Riley in the house, at all times, anymore. That is SO nice.
25. For our church. Tim and I had a list of about ten churches to visit when moving to Peachtree City. While that task can be daunting, it is a nice problem to have. However, we walked in to the second church we visited and felt like home. We never visited the rest of the churches. We are joining this Sunday. I'm grateful God has lead us to such a beautiful body of believers (say that ten times fast!). Looking forward to seeing what he will be doing in the future.
26. For Thanksgiving. I mean, a holiday based on getting together with those you love the most, EATING so much foooooooood, and reflecting on all the good things that God has done in your life. What could be better? (If you say Christmas, we will fight).
27. For Love. For having found in not only in the love of my mother and father, but also in a husband who's daily sacrifices for our family do not go unnoticed, in the loving arms of friends who's shoulders I have cried on, who's necks I have hugged, in holding the most beautiful baby in the world she brings me to tears (honestly) if I hold or look at her too long, but mostly in experiencing it in the Love of Jesus Christ. His love makes me complete, not lacking anything, and I can be the person I am today, because He loved me first.
28. For Hope. For when days seem too dark, and the future seems very bleak, there is always hope for a better day.
29. For daily provision. Let's be honest, most of us have more than daily provision sitting in our pantries and refrigerators. The mere fact that people in this world don't should be cause for action. I am looking forward to helping those around us in this season.
30. For Forgiveness. Because I mess up all the time. Because I am constantly doing something or saying something that is hurting someone's feelings (not on purpose), because I'm human, and I am never going to get it right, not once. Today, I pray that if I have hurt you for some reason, in anyway. I ask your forgiveness. I am not infallible, and I know that I don't do what I'm supposed to all the time. Please forgive me, and know that I love you and will try to be better in the future.
I'm thankful for you all...
LA
1. Grace, that kind that was here at the creation of the world, but became known through Jesus Christ.
2. Salvation. Not the same as Grace, it's me confessing to you that I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and died to take the place of me for my punishment. And that by accepting His gift of Salvation, I am adopted in the family of Christ, and when I die, I will live with Him in Heaven for all eternity, as He has saved me from the absence of His presence.
3. My health. That encompasses everything about my body, to my absence of needing doctors in my life on a regular day basis.
4. For Tim. Because he's amazing and awesome and he helps out around the house and he loves Karis like whoah, because he is my sugar daddy, and doesn't mind, and he just is all this package of Mr. Fixit man who has a job and loves his family, and if any woman ever thinks she will get him... I will cut her. Jk, kind of.
5. For Karis. Because she lights up my life, every morning there is something new and different and she has more sass than I can handle, but she is beautiful. She steals my heart everyday, and I just don't mind. I have mommy love, and I will be ever in her debt for letting me experience that. Mommy love is amazing and awful all at the same time, but it's totally worth it.
6. For living in this country. I just got to vote, and I did not have to walk into a place with an armed soldier, I just voted. Like it was no big thing, except, it's kind of a huge thing. If you didn't vote, you should go live in China, and try to complain to someone about something the government does, and threaten their job. See if you don 't end up in jail, or dead. Now, if you can, do that in the US. You might get ignored, but at least you did not end up in jail or dead, that is pretty awesome.
7. For being a woman. It sounds so weird, but I get to experience some pretty cool stuff being a woman.
8. For family. They drive me CRAZY I tell you. But I love them so much. I would do anything for them, even take a bullet. I'm so glad I get to see them on a regular basis now. That completely rocks.
9. For friends. I seriously have the best friends in the world. They live all over the state of GA and throughout the South. Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, even have some peeps I made through Tim that live up North! We would have never made it the first year with out such a huge support system outside my family. These are the people I can tell them about how I really am feeling that day, and they still love me. I've cried in front of all of them, and they just hug me, and we have laughed, danced, some even fought and made-up. You guys are amazing, I miss all of you to the bottom of my heart. I ask God on a regular daily basis if we can all live on same street in Heaven.
10. For income. I think I would have taken that for granted about four years ago. But I do not anymore. Every time I have gone to tithe since we've been married, I thank God for an income to which we can give God back a tithe check, that's awesome.
11. Our house. We may not own it, but I still LOVE it! Tim and I have been fortunate to rent from some amazing landlords for our past two houses. God has blessed us through their stewardship of the properties we have lived in. But mostly oh so grateful to live in a house, period.
12. Our cars. Seems so dumb too, but once again, in this day in age, people are not being able to afford them. I am SO grateful we can.
13. The health of my family. I hear of these things that happen to people's husbands and children. Health is something that is never promised to us. So, for now, for this blog, I can say that both of my beloved ones are healthy. I must remember to be grateful right at this moment, just in case this past sentence changes in the future.
14. For the fall. Because I love it. It's so pretty with it's changing leaves and nice cool breezes.
15. The mountains. Especially this time of year!
16. For my education. I would not be able to pen my thoughts of thankfulness without being taught all the basics. I'm grateful for all my teachers throughout the years (my mom included) who have educated me.
17. For my grandparents. Grandparents are just cool people. I have two grandfathers who are now in Heaven (I assume sitting on a bench waiting for all of us to join them:)). There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could get a hug from granddaddy Roy one more time, or hear a WWII story from my granddaddy Frank. I do still have my Dot Dot and Mema, and they are pretty awesome. If you still have all your grandparents, give them a hug this Thanksgiving and let them know you are thankful for them.
18. For church on Sunday. Because Lord knows I need it! Seriously.
19. For The Bible. How have I not mentioned this earlier??? God's Word is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I'm so thankful that in times of uncertainty, that when the culture changes, the Rock at which I base my life on does not. His teachings are true and set me free.
20. For fireplaces. Because I finally live in a place that requires one during the winter. I'll never forget one rainy cold day in highschool, I told my mom it was "that time of the month" and I didn't feel good, and to please let me stay home. She knew good and well that is was not that time of the month, and that I NEVER had cramps of any sort. She let me stay home anyway, and I put on PJ's and curled up by the fire. Looking forward to more days like that.
21. For country music. Where was Taylor Swift when I was in middle school/ high school?!? I love singing songs about slow dances, first loves, and getting into trouble. Totally applicable to that time of life. And then the songs about how the husbands find their wives so sexy... I need those songs now. This music just puts a smile on my face.
22. Those times when you laugh so hard you can't breath. You become reeeeeaaaalll thankful you had those times in your life, when you are not certain you will have them again, for a long time. Here's to hoping for a future when you laugh so hard your sides split.
23. For coffee. I need kurig, or something that will make me just 1 (one), cup of coffee in the morning. Because I need it with a one year old. Because my body does not work until 8. Thank you Lord, for coffee.
24. For my fenced in back yard. Because now I don't have to have my cute, BIG four-legged friend Riley in the house, at all times, anymore. That is SO nice.
25. For our church. Tim and I had a list of about ten churches to visit when moving to Peachtree City. While that task can be daunting, it is a nice problem to have. However, we walked in to the second church we visited and felt like home. We never visited the rest of the churches. We are joining this Sunday. I'm grateful God has lead us to such a beautiful body of believers (say that ten times fast!). Looking forward to seeing what he will be doing in the future.
26. For Thanksgiving. I mean, a holiday based on getting together with those you love the most, EATING so much foooooooood, and reflecting on all the good things that God has done in your life. What could be better? (If you say Christmas, we will fight).
27. For Love. For having found in not only in the love of my mother and father, but also in a husband who's daily sacrifices for our family do not go unnoticed, in the loving arms of friends who's shoulders I have cried on, who's necks I have hugged, in holding the most beautiful baby in the world she brings me to tears (honestly) if I hold or look at her too long, but mostly in experiencing it in the Love of Jesus Christ. His love makes me complete, not lacking anything, and I can be the person I am today, because He loved me first.
28. For Hope. For when days seem too dark, and the future seems very bleak, there is always hope for a better day.
29. For daily provision. Let's be honest, most of us have more than daily provision sitting in our pantries and refrigerators. The mere fact that people in this world don't should be cause for action. I am looking forward to helping those around us in this season.
30. For Forgiveness. Because I mess up all the time. Because I am constantly doing something or saying something that is hurting someone's feelings (not on purpose), because I'm human, and I am never going to get it right, not once. Today, I pray that if I have hurt you for some reason, in anyway. I ask your forgiveness. I am not infallible, and I know that I don't do what I'm supposed to all the time. Please forgive me, and know that I love you and will try to be better in the future.
I'm thankful for you all...
LA
Friday, September 28, 2012
September 29th, 2011
I did not date this post wrong. This is the birthday of my first wonderfully beautiful child: Karis Laurie Harper. Oh man. What an incredible journey. I keep thinking about what I want to put on this post. What I want to tell you about her first year, about how she has changed, about how she has changed me. And I most certainly don't know where to begin. So, maybe I'll start from the beginning.
Karis was a beautiful newborn. I'm not lying, she was gorgeous. The first hour of her life her eyes were WIDE open. I'll never forget how she looked, starring up in awe as my mom and dad held her for the first time. She was completely freaked out, but totally there. Just looking, watching, taking it all in. And being totally gorgeous too. She was not necessarily easy as a newborn. She wasn't awful, no colic, or crazy diseases or sicknesses, thank the Lord. But not a chill baby by any means. She cried a lot due to gas, and unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I could not breast feed her longer than three months. So... formula was fun. The child did inherit a sensitive stomach from both me and her father, she was doomed in that department. So, while I could not blame her for being fussy with the gas issues, there were other mountains, I did not like climbing.
I discovered my child's will to be stubborn the first day she had to be stretched to go on a schedule. She was doing this awful thing were she started snacking every hour, and after a hard "come to Jesus" talk with my sister, we decided she needed to go on a schedule, 4oz, every four hours. Oh. My. Goodness. You would think that I has made the decision to be the cruelest person that ever existed the way Karis cried. She really gave it to me. And then, I loved when people visited, and they thought I was being over dramatic, and then they heard the wonderful sounds that came out of her wonderful mouth. Yeah, that was pretty hard. It took her about a week or two to get on board with the new schedule, but the scarring of hearing her scream for that week, will probably last me a lifetime.
But she grew out of it, we got the formula issues down, and then one day, I just keep receiving compliments on what a happy, cute baby she was. And she is! She smiles, looks people square in the eye, and laughs. She makes noises and wiggles, just to get people's attention. At playgrounds, she loves going up to all the kids and making friends. Just an amazingly social, happy baby, and I could not be more blessed.
I am in constant awe of Karis. All the time. I love looking at her think. You want to know what I do some days? I just watch her. She is always thinking, turning things over in her mind...plotting, really. One day we had our storm door open, and it looked like she could get out of the house, and she crawled as fast as she could for the door. She wanted out! And that is when I realized that my child will not be a homebody. At 11 mo's I know, she will not stay any longer than she can. She was born with wings, oh goodness I love watching her. Everyday, she amazes me. The mere fact that one year ago, she couldn't even hold her head up, and she is now the fasted crawler in the Harper family, "talking" up a storm, and will be walking (or maybe running:)) around any day now. She has done more learning and growing in this first year, than I believe I have done in the past five! And no one has taught her how to do any of it, babies just do it themselves! Crazy.
She has changed me so completely. I think about her non-stop. When she cries, my heart breaks. Today, I found myself just watching her walk around the house with her "walker" (some device that she uses to assist her at this time). I love to study her face, today she looked just like Tim when she had this supreme moment of concentration trying to do something, and she would not be deterred until she accomplished it. She amazes me, and inspires me. She reminds me so much of God. Not only is her name a sweet prayer on my lips to God for her every time I say it, but it also reminds me of how much I need Him in so many ways in my life, and my desperate need for His Grace. (Her name Karis, is really Charis, the Greek word in the Bible for Grace). Also, God gently speaks to me all the time about His perspective. When I am lost in wonder at my little child, learning from me, growing, listening to me, I get a Holy Spirit nudge. It's like He's saying, "Remember all those times you wondered how I could forgive you? And then, while you do get angry with Karis, you're heart always melts for her, and you continually love her, and you can't even stop it. You're just a human and you can do that, I am God, and I can do it even better. Please stop wondering why I can forgive you a thousand times. I gave in wonder at you too!" God makes me cry when I think about how much I love Karis, and how much He loves me more.
Yes, Karis has changed our lives. I don't want to speak for Tim. I would love to hear what he has thought about this past year. But I'll tell you what I think. Wow. I seriously love my life with Karis. She brings so much joy and laughter to our family. Confession: I like to take her out to places (especially places where I know older people will be, like Aldi) so I can hear and see people dote on her. I love her smile. I love the way she looks at me when I come into a room and I've been gone. And yes, I love that she likes being with me over you when I'm in the room. It does get old when I want to talk, but yes, I love the Karis prefers me, her mother. She's a little too clingy right now, but I'm going to chalk that us to a phase (hopefully). I can't see it lasting past her preteen years, anyway;).
I must admit, the last literal moment before Karis came into the world, my last thought as a "mom-to-be" was. I'm not ready to be a mom. I'm not a big kid person, no one really called me back on a regular basis to babysit, and I'm don't blame them. I don't know what to do with kids, babies too. I didn't know if I could be the person that Karis needed. I hope she never catches on. I hope she always knows that although I was 100% not ready for her at all, I'm so glad she's here in spite of me. Grace. Karis.
I'm celebrating tomorrow, all day. Really, Birthday's truly are for the mothers. I'll relive my glorious child and her coming into this world and making my heart fill with a love that I had never felt before her. I'll watch her be her cute self, and reminisce about my tiny angel, and yet be SO thankful she is NOT a newborn. And worship Jesus, the giver of all good things, the Giver of my Karis.
Happy Birthday Karis Laurie Harper. While you will be receiving presents on this day from now on, I'll be the one the receives the present of you, everyday.
Karis was a beautiful newborn. I'm not lying, she was gorgeous. The first hour of her life her eyes were WIDE open. I'll never forget how she looked, starring up in awe as my mom and dad held her for the first time. She was completely freaked out, but totally there. Just looking, watching, taking it all in. And being totally gorgeous too. She was not necessarily easy as a newborn. She wasn't awful, no colic, or crazy diseases or sicknesses, thank the Lord. But not a chill baby by any means. She cried a lot due to gas, and unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond my control, I could not breast feed her longer than three months. So... formula was fun. The child did inherit a sensitive stomach from both me and her father, she was doomed in that department. So, while I could not blame her for being fussy with the gas issues, there were other mountains, I did not like climbing.
I discovered my child's will to be stubborn the first day she had to be stretched to go on a schedule. She was doing this awful thing were she started snacking every hour, and after a hard "come to Jesus" talk with my sister, we decided she needed to go on a schedule, 4oz, every four hours. Oh. My. Goodness. You would think that I has made the decision to be the cruelest person that ever existed the way Karis cried. She really gave it to me. And then, I loved when people visited, and they thought I was being over dramatic, and then they heard the wonderful sounds that came out of her wonderful mouth. Yeah, that was pretty hard. It took her about a week or two to get on board with the new schedule, but the scarring of hearing her scream for that week, will probably last me a lifetime.
But she grew out of it, we got the formula issues down, and then one day, I just keep receiving compliments on what a happy, cute baby she was. And she is! She smiles, looks people square in the eye, and laughs. She makes noises and wiggles, just to get people's attention. At playgrounds, she loves going up to all the kids and making friends. Just an amazingly social, happy baby, and I could not be more blessed.
I am in constant awe of Karis. All the time. I love looking at her think. You want to know what I do some days? I just watch her. She is always thinking, turning things over in her mind...plotting, really. One day we had our storm door open, and it looked like she could get out of the house, and she crawled as fast as she could for the door. She wanted out! And that is when I realized that my child will not be a homebody. At 11 mo's I know, she will not stay any longer than she can. She was born with wings, oh goodness I love watching her. Everyday, she amazes me. The mere fact that one year ago, she couldn't even hold her head up, and she is now the fasted crawler in the Harper family, "talking" up a storm, and will be walking (or maybe running:)) around any day now. She has done more learning and growing in this first year, than I believe I have done in the past five! And no one has taught her how to do any of it, babies just do it themselves! Crazy.
She has changed me so completely. I think about her non-stop. When she cries, my heart breaks. Today, I found myself just watching her walk around the house with her "walker" (some device that she uses to assist her at this time). I love to study her face, today she looked just like Tim when she had this supreme moment of concentration trying to do something, and she would not be deterred until she accomplished it. She amazes me, and inspires me. She reminds me so much of God. Not only is her name a sweet prayer on my lips to God for her every time I say it, but it also reminds me of how much I need Him in so many ways in my life, and my desperate need for His Grace. (Her name Karis, is really Charis, the Greek word in the Bible for Grace). Also, God gently speaks to me all the time about His perspective. When I am lost in wonder at my little child, learning from me, growing, listening to me, I get a Holy Spirit nudge. It's like He's saying, "Remember all those times you wondered how I could forgive you? And then, while you do get angry with Karis, you're heart always melts for her, and you continually love her, and you can't even stop it. You're just a human and you can do that, I am God, and I can do it even better. Please stop wondering why I can forgive you a thousand times. I gave in wonder at you too!" God makes me cry when I think about how much I love Karis, and how much He loves me more.
Yes, Karis has changed our lives. I don't want to speak for Tim. I would love to hear what he has thought about this past year. But I'll tell you what I think. Wow. I seriously love my life with Karis. She brings so much joy and laughter to our family. Confession: I like to take her out to places (especially places where I know older people will be, like Aldi) so I can hear and see people dote on her. I love her smile. I love the way she looks at me when I come into a room and I've been gone. And yes, I love that she likes being with me over you when I'm in the room. It does get old when I want to talk, but yes, I love the Karis prefers me, her mother. She's a little too clingy right now, but I'm going to chalk that us to a phase (hopefully). I can't see it lasting past her preteen years, anyway;).
I must admit, the last literal moment before Karis came into the world, my last thought as a "mom-to-be" was. I'm not ready to be a mom. I'm not a big kid person, no one really called me back on a regular basis to babysit, and I'm don't blame them. I don't know what to do with kids, babies too. I didn't know if I could be the person that Karis needed. I hope she never catches on. I hope she always knows that although I was 100% not ready for her at all, I'm so glad she's here in spite of me. Grace. Karis.
I'm celebrating tomorrow, all day. Really, Birthday's truly are for the mothers. I'll relive my glorious child and her coming into this world and making my heart fill with a love that I had never felt before her. I'll watch her be her cute self, and reminisce about my tiny angel, and yet be SO thankful she is NOT a newborn. And worship Jesus, the giver of all good things, the Giver of my Karis.
Happy Birthday Karis Laurie Harper. While you will be receiving presents on this day from now on, I'll be the one the receives the present of you, everyday.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Dear Orlando,
This letter has been a long time coming, I guess almost five years in the making. I not going to lie, I guess if I was to write this letter about two and a half years ago, it would have sounded more like, good riddance. But it's not that. At all.
You see, I was so excited to move here, you were a brave new world for me and my new husband. Your mystery and promise for a new life for Tim and I, and the fact that you had four malls withing twenty minutes of each other, lured me in, I took the bait. And at first, things were great, I guess. But then, reality started to set in...hard.
It started to feel like that you were transient, many came and went, few stay to settle down. I mean, lets be honest, we very rarely meet those who are born and raised from Orlando, they even joke about having a club for themselves. There was the never ending search for something that looked like a "suburb". Orlando, you have no perimeter, so you just keep going. I mean, literally, I can drive for over an hour and STILL BE IN ORLANDO... what is that!?! For some reason, stucco houses are everywhere... everywhere... And I mean, seriously, it's hot here, so... why don't people plant more trees?? I know, hurricanes come through, so trees are bad in that instance. So, for the remainder of the HOT year, we are punished with no shade because a tree might fall on you if there happens to be a tropical storm/ hurricane? And why does it seem Brighthouse is the only provider for cable/internet? Do you actually make people submit to a driver's license test, or when they turn 16 or come to this country from another one (that doesn't believe in any kind of road rules) you just hand them a license? Is that why the lines in the DMV are not that long? And, instead of pulling me over for failing to use my blinker, why don't you pull over the idiot that is weaving between lanes going 80mph during rush hour? It also seriously seems like white women between their 20's and 30's seem to disappear, or are just swallowed up by Central Florida. When I moved here, it seemed monthly women were disappearing. What do you have against young women, Central Florida? Tolls. NO. I hate them... why? And really, what's with being called "The City Beautiful" that's kinda vain...
You were annoying. That's what you were, a pain in my side. And with each passing day, I wished and dreamed for the soft mountain breezes, and seasonal changes of my beloved Georgia. When I called my family and they were having an impromptu get-together, I would inwardly cringe and cry, and hang up the phone really fast. Birthdays of my niece and nephew kept having to be missed. I missed April's 30th birthday EXTRAVAGANZA. As much as we both wanted to be around for all events that happened, we had to financially prioritize what was important. And anyone who lives away from family knows that not only is that painful, it gets personal, and someone's feelings always get hurt, always with yours as well. It's hard.
So, I didn't like you, and I prayed, and I prayed. And slowly, things happened step by step that slooooooowly started opening me up to you. Maybe it started with my job. Not only did I end up working with an AWESOME group of women who were not only as passionate about child welfare and advocating for the safety of children, but also they were just plain ol' great friends and co-workers who cared and supported each other even when we were not at work. It was working with these women who were so diverse, not only culturally, but in our faiths, relationships, how we were raised, and many countless different other ways that I really learned and practiced that you really CAN truly love someone and support them, even if you don't necessarily agree with them on different issues.
It was at work that I was forced beyond my comfort zone. I went into houses, apartment complexes, trailers, ghettos. I had a client whose pitbulls chased me as well as started to fight each other right at my legs. I prayed for the safety of children that was certain would not be safe at night. I kicked a wife-beater out of his house. I made a young hispanic girl's mouth drop when I read her inappropriate love letter she wrote to her boyfriend in spanish. I literally watched a 17 year old child run away from me. Just straight booked it out of her sister's apartment. I was present when a mother has a psychotic break in my car. I remember talking to an older child and having to tell her it was really not her fault she was sexually assaulted by her cousin, but I was there the day that she walked in freedom away from such wrong thinking. I worked with a 17 year old that was shot while trying to rob a drug dealer who would never walk again. And yes, I did visit a mother in an apartment complex that a triple homicide has occurred recently at the time. (No worries though, I only wen there during the day!)) My favorite would be my older kid who was going on her second baby by the time she was 17, she was such a leader if she put her mind to it! Honestly, the people frustrated me, they made me mad, I screamed at some of them, I thought some were sick, some did frighten me, but mostly, most of my cases were just plain sad. Because all these people were doing was living in the chains and the cycles of crud that they only knew how to live in. They didn't know any different. It makes me so so sad, knowing how much I love my daughter, to know there are so many people who long to love like that, but don't know how, because they were never shown such kind of love. Orlando, I walked behind your closed doors. I talked to your hurting, your drug-addicted, your abusers. I don't hate you because of them, you showed me there are people out there beyond what my eyes would just like to see, and you challenged me to help them.
And then Orlando, you showed me your fun side. We adopted our dog and you showed us your dog parks, Fleet Peeples being my favorite. We met so many dog people, and had so much fun taking Riley to new parks and being his charming self. We discovered fun places that were NOT Disney, like Lake Eola on a Friday night, and the Farmer's Market in Winter Park in Saturday mornings. And there is almost always some type of festival coming through Winter or College Park every other month. We found places to walk around that made us loosen up and not feel so wound up by the city itself. And Orlando, I've got to hand it to you, you know how to eat. Dexter's, Bosphorus, 310, K, Ravenous Pig, 4Rivers, Fuji Sushi, White Wolf Cafe, Ghiarbaldi's... Basically any place off of Park Ave or College Park, and then a million places in between. Tim and I have eaten VERY well in your city, and you have proven to house the finest cuisine from many different countries and cultures. So, we blame you for our weight gain...
And then Orlando, although I really, really, really, really love fall. Everyone who knows me knows its my favorite season. So, for the longest time, I kinda really, really, really hated you when it was fall time. You showed me something. The pleasure of having no winter, like at all, rarely! I mean, there was that one year, where for some reason you thought six weeks of cold weather was funny. But, other than that, I mean, I kinda love you in December. When the rest of the country is freezing their rear-ends off and going through depression cause they haven't seen the sun in a week, you show up with 80 degrees, balmy, and a nice breeze. I can walk outside in shorts and feel refreshed. I must say, it is a nice touch. So, yeah, I'd say you made up for your lack of season change, with giving me five good years of no winter, whatsoever...I don't know what to think about that.
Orlando, it is here that we joined First Baptist of Orlando. Wow. What can I say? I guess I could go on and on about what an amazing church it is, but that would be taking away from the Creator of all churches. The Lord Jesus Christ put us in your city, and lead us to this church. I loved being apart of a congregation of all types of colors, backgrounds, countries, even growing up in different denominations. Where people go to honestly worship the Lord, study His Word, and participate in the community to love on people and share Christ's love. The church that believes it's not enough to give to those who have nothing, but to know their names, invite them to dinner, and love on them as if they have everything. Where I look out and there is not one set color of people. Where we are all learning to get past our comfort zones, and trust that each are coming in their own personal way before the throne of Jesus, no matter the language, culture, hurt, habit, or hang-up. I have loved feeling so at home with people who are so far away from their "homes." Learning that "home" is such a transitive word, because "home" is wherever God wants us. Because I have a family here, Orlando. So many people who do not like you, ended up here with me. We all loved having the same gripes together! But that is a side note, Commissioned is here in Orlando. They were/are my family. It took a little bit, we had to get past the newly-wed stage. The stage of looking like we had it all together, that we all loved our mates 100% of the time. We had to get past that to cry with each other, to share our struggles, to pray for each other, to carry our burdens. When our spouses didn't have jobs for years, when our family members died, when our spouses had health issues, when we were going to the mission field, when we had pregnancies, when we had miscarriages, when we had preemies... We had EACH OTHER! There was much laughter, and many tears. We didn't agree on some things ourselves, there was some inner turmoil, but we LOVED each other... I mean I LOVE them now and forever. I remember one of my friends reaching down and squeezing my hand one time during a prayer, cause we both wanted to have children, and both were not pregnant... It was the simplest act, but just to know, someone understood. They are the only ones beside my blood family, that know how much and how easy it is for me to cry, and they understand and do me the favor of pretending like it didn't happen. They give real hugs. And with each new friendship formed in my class, Orlando, I came to treasure you more. There is not an area I can go to without knowing someone I love, so there are wonderful memories all over your map.
Then we moved to Lake Killarney. Side note, if anyone has not seen where I live, you should, it's beautiful, I'm not bragging about where I live, I'm just saying, for the past two years, I have rounded a corner that looks over one of the most beautiful natural lakes, and my house has the most calm and serene view in the evenings. I loved it so much, I hated leaving it for work. So, I quit work. A long walk to talk to Jesus over looking the lake and calm so many nerves. Thinking about this not being my home anymore breaks my heart. But then after we moved to Lake Killarney, we got neighbors. Not just neighbors that live next to you, no, the Blackwells live two streets down. But neighbors all the same. That short five minute walk between our two houses has been our life line for the past two years. We have partied much, laughed much, cried much, prayed much, but most importantly loved much between these two houses. The depth of love and loyalty I feel for the Blackwell clan is very deep. But they know how much they mean to us. We were both here for the past two years. Being able to confidently walk into someone's home unannounced and them letting you in despite the condition of themselves, their children, or their house speaks volumes about the relationship you have with that person. So instead of gushing, I'm just going to let the past two years as neighbors speak for itself between the two of our families. But Orlando, you will always be the city with the lake, that holds those memories between our families.
Then, we had a baby. We didn't just have any baby either, we had Karis. Have you seen how much I love my child? Do you know how much she means to me? Have I not made you a little annoyed at the amount of pictures I send to you or post on facebook? I recently described her as winning the lottery. Every. Day. And I had her here, in Orlando, in one of the best hospitals I could have asked for. I'd say overall, the pregnancy/mother experience has been pretty awesome. Orlando, we took Karis out for her first stroll here. We have pictures of her at Lake Eola, Winter Park, church, all over the map, you name it. She rolled over here, she sat up her, she smiled for the first time here, she babbled her first unintelligible words here, and pulled up here. I do think you will not get the pleasure of having her take her first steps here. Sorry. But, as much as I will try to raise my daughter to be a sweet Southern Peach, she was my Florida Sunshine first. She'll always be my Florida baby. She may even get confused at some points in her life and ask, why was she in born in Florida, and I'll smile (yes smile, or half smile) and tell her about our life here. Playing in grass on our lawn, walking around the lake, laughing and playing in the malls...So, you get the Orlando. You own the early days with my daughter.
So, Orlando, here we are. In five days, you will not be our "home" anymore. You will be the place on the map, where somehow, I will look on you fondly?!? I will try not to talk about you too much to people I meet because they will probably just think "Well, if you like it so much why did you leave?" And that would be awkward, cause people down here, have heard me voice my disapproval of you... well, lets just say, more than some;). What do I tell you? I can't really, thank you for all my experiences, because ultimately, it was God who sent me all these beautiful people and places in my life. But Orlando, you house these people, my memories, my places. What do I do with you? Orlando, you be good to my people. Continue to be the city that holds the hopes and dreams of these beautiful people. Because, Orlando, you can have all the theme parks in the world, beautiful weather, and good times, but what really made me love you was the people you hold. They have all come together to place an Orlando-shaped tattoo on my heart. I leave with one of my favorite quote from one of my favorite Broadway musicals:
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?But because I knew youI have been changed for good.
Love you much,LA
Love you much,LA
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